We went hiking the other day and I discovered a few things about Mr. C. Cow that I never knew before.
- He has a rock climbing certification.
- He’s never eaten a piece of broccoli. When confronted with broccoli he just kinda licks it then forgets about it. (We fixed this dilemma with a trip to a farmers market.)
- One time I was told that a pair of my sunglasses had broken because they must have fallen off the dash board while I was driving. I found out that he was trying them on and broke them when he was trying to get them to fit his head. (I forgave him. Everyone makes mistakes.)
- He can read a map very well but, somehow, always gets lost.
While discovering these amazing Mr. C. Cow facts as we stretched our legs with a bit of a hike we ran into a curious man with goat legs and pan flute. At first he was very polite. Told us his name was Pan. I told him that it was wonderful to meet him and made a comment about how he had the same name as his musical instrument. Pan just laughed, played a few notes, then proceeded to hit on me. This wasn’t one of those smooth flirting attempts but more of a “Hey baby! Wanna go make out in a cave?” kinda come-on line. I explained that I was not about to make out with him in some cave after we had just said hello. Again, to my frustration, he laughed, played a bit of music, and tried to kiss me. Being as short as I am I was lucky that he ended up with a mouthful of beehive. Upset that he attempted to kiss me and messed up my beehive I tried to explain to him what “Sexual Harassment” was. Pan just didn’t get why I was so upset and started talking in a really frightening voice about how I needed to lighten up.
At this point Mr. C. Cow had seen enough, scooped me up, threw me onto his back and galloped back to the camper. I’m so lucky to have the best cow friend in the world that not only is full of amazing cow facts but also looks out for me.
If you ever run into a guy named Pan with goat legs don’t stop. Just keep on galloping by.
Location: Magical Forest Of Dreams (M)