Posted in Nature, Tourist Attraction

Wrong Turn At Albuquerque

orwood

 

Mr. C. Cow and I have decided to write a few camper tips to save you all from the dangers of the road. We’ve been doing this for a long time so, I guess, you could consider us camper experts. Camper-sperts. Experters.

We’re still working on a word.

Our expertise in the wonderful world of travel became glaringly apparent when we accidentally drove up the side of a volcano. The expert part was not the volcano driving but the fact that we survived. No one should have to hear a cow goat scream in terror as it leads to many sleepless nights.

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Here is a list of a few things you should be mindful of when on the road.

Do not drive your camper up the side of an active volcano. Besides melting your tires and risking death it’s just not a smart thing to do. Sure. It looks pretty, especially at night, but it’s not a good thing. Lava hot.

To avoid a volcano driving underwater is also not advised. Campers cannot swim. Some do float but I don’t recommend flooding your engine with water and possible lava from above.  Not to mention explosive interaction with water and lava as well as other science-y things.

 If you run out of pretzels don’t panic and start driving erratically. Just find the nearest carry out/gas station/grocery store and buy more.

Don’t forget to bring your towel.

 I think that you all know by now that a first aid kit, spare tire, martini making supplies, and tools are essential while traveling. Have you ever thought about the importance of ear and nose plugs? If you’re traveling with someone who moo snores or seems to get gas all the time then you need them.

 Always travel with multiple pairs of sunglasses. Not only will you look cool but you’ll be happy you brought extras when your travel buddy sits on them.

Find Um’ Don’t Grind Um’. Woooooooo!!!

Motor oil can not be used to pop popcorn.

If you can’t see over the steering wheel and need to prop yourself up you can use the 50 empty pizza boxes SOMEONE left in the camper. Just make sure they are not open. No one likes sitting on melty cheese.

Don’t forget to hug your travel buddy and tell them you are happy they are with you every day. It’s important because, without them, sometimes you wouldn’t have a list of things to look out for.

Be safe. Don’t drive on an active volcano. Don’t sit on melty cheese.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Location: Orwood Volcano (G)

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Author:

Big Cheese of Kinkhead Creations. Writer/Designer/All Around Awesome. An "Artist".

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