Posted in Real Life

Off-Lawning

Bishop had to go lawn mower shopping the other day. The grass at the equipment company was getting a bit on the long side and our old mower wasn’t going to cut it anymore. (Get it! Lawn mower! Cut Grass!!) Our old mower was working just fine until Mr. C. Cow took it out for a joyride that he likes to call “Off-Lawning”. Lawn mowers were not meant for “Off-Lawning” adventures so this called for a trip to the hardware store.

Lawn mower shopping gives Mr. C. and I the perfect opportunity to try and figure out what all of the safety signs means on the equipment. Not sure if Bishop finds us humorous because he kept kicking tires on the mowers, sighing, and drinking his coffee while we were laughing at the stupidity of our safety sign interpretations. At one point Bishop did walk away. I thought it was because we were being overly stupid. Mr. C. Cow said he thought it was because he wanted to laugh at our jokes privately in a different aisle.

Bishop ended up coming back with the keys of one particular model he was interested in. It was called a “Huskdeerpowermow-something or other”. The safety sign on the keys was what started Mr. C. Cow and I off on another round of “Caption that safety sign!”.

mower3
Eeeek! “Do not use slug baby as a tire jack!”

While we giggled (and were slightly horrified) by the sign on the set of mower keys Bishop did a “mumble grumble” sound then moved off to talk to a salesman. This gave us the perfect opportunity to check out more of the mowers fun safety sign features.

mower1
“This Mower Can Be Used For Sweet Skateboarding Moves.”

We wondered why the guy doing his sweet moves was not wearing a helmet. He is, after all, a safety sign guy.

mower6
“Calmly drive your mower into a burning brush fire.”

Maybe this one could also mean “In case of brush fire throw leaves on it while running it over.”

mower8
“Attempting to sword fight while using this mower will lead to finger gouges.”

Can you picture someone trying to sword fight while mowing their lawn? I don’t think that’s the safest thing one could do while mowing. Maybe they should listen to the sign and save the sword fights for after the yard work is done.

Bishop decided to buy this lawnmower because it was perfect for the equipment companies lawn. Mr. C. Cow and I were happy he got it because we didn’t get to interpret all of its safety stickers.

Maybe later on this week, while Bishop is actually getting ready to mow, we can continue interpreting for you. Only if he let’s us get close enough to it. I know he’s keeping an eye on Mr. C. Cow.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All safety sticker pictures were taken by me and are actually off of our riding lawnmower. We now, currently, have a nicely mowed lawn. 

In all seriousness, don’t be an idiot. Follow all safety rules and signs when operating something like a lawn mower. Don’t get hurt by being stupid!

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Author:

Big Cheese of Kinkhead Creations. Writer/Designer/All Around Awesome. An "Artist".

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