Posted in Tourist Attraction, Town/City

Super Jumbo Apocalyptic Pack

Mr. C. Cow and I are back on the road! After staying around the shop for a few days helping out Bishop it was time to get back into the camper. Before we could go too far we needed to stock up on some camper supplies.

docklands1
So glad you’re open because we’re out of toilet paper!

I, usually, let Mr. C. Cow handle the shopping but I pitched in with the grocery list this time around. Mr. C. is good at finding really good sales but always seems to come home with one or two items we didn’t need. (Dish soap cozy, plastic bag holder shaped like a chicken, ANOTHER milk can) Since our list was so large it wasn’t fair to let him try to handle it alone. I was on fruit and vegetable duty while he was in charge of the paper items.

docklands2
Where are the produce bags?

After spending a few moments locating produce bags to place fruit in Mr. C. Cow came back with a “super jumbo apocalyptic” pack of toilet paper. “Apocalyptic” toilet paper? Yes…because the slogan on the side of the toilet paper read “When the end comes don’t come to the end of your toilet paper”. That could, possibly, be the worst marketing slogan I had ever heard. Mr. C. thought it was hilarious and wanted us to buy this particular pack.

Now…we were in need of toilet paper but there was no way I was buying this pack. It wasn’t because of the cheesy slogan but because the pack contained 5,001 rolls of toilet paper. I guess that, when the end does come, that one extra roll will make a difference. Where were we going to put this much toilet paper? Mr. C. Cow said we could open it up and put it under the sink in the bathroom. I, calmly, explained that it wouldn’t fit. He suggested that we put some in the glove box. I, not as calmly, explained to him that we needed the glove box for maps, breath mints, and our cars papers. (Also…5,001 rolls of tp will not fit in a glove box.) When he started telling me how we could tie the whole pack onto the roof with bungee cords I had to tell him to go get a smaller pack.  Mr. C. came back with 100 rolls of toilet paper and told me that, if the end comes, we’re going to be up some sort of creek without a paddle. I’ll take the risk.

docklands3
After the TP talk I needed coffee!!

After we had put our purchases in the camper and drove off I started to think about the end of the world and how we might run into a toilet paper crisis. What if Mr. C. Cow is right and I might have doomed us to using leaves when we do our “business”? What if we need the toilet paper tubes to start a fire? Why am I even pondering this?

Maybe we should start using a grocery delivery service.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken by moi in Second Life. (Click here to learn what Second Life is if you don’t know)

Second Life Location: Docklands Grocery and Cafe (M) 

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Author:

Big Cheese of Kinkhead Creations. Writer/Designer/All Around Awesome. An "Artist".

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