Mr. C. Cow and I went on a hike today. It started out as any of our typical hikes because Mr. C. wanted to pack WAY TOO MUCH trail mix than was needed. Ten pounds of trail mix is a bit much for the two of us to eat on a two-mile hike. He insisted that we might run into woodland creatures in desperate need of a mixture of cereal, nuts, and chocolate candies. Even helping others doesn’t justify carrying ten pounds around. We settled on five.
Let me break down what happened to each individual pound of trail mix. This is where they typical just gets weird.
Pound #1: We made it, about, 50 yards when it was time to stop for a trail mix break. We split the first pound but I think that Mr. C. Cow got more chocolate candies in his half then I did. I swear that a half a pound would at least yield more than three pieces.
Pound #2: This pound was thrown on the ground. No! Not randomly thrown on the ground! It was thrown on the ground for the birds flying by. Thrown on the ground for a pack of butterflies. Individual pieces were handed out to tiny bugs that were just passing through. I saw a beetle sneak off with at least five large pieces on his back. As of this very moment no bugs, butterflies, or birds are without trail mix in the woods today.
Pound #3: Mr. C. Cow ate the whole pound by himself. How do I know this? I know this because he went behind a tree to do “his private business” and came back a pound lighter in the trail mix department. I guess that “private business” means different things to both of us.
Pound #4: This pound went to a good cause. It was given to a mother bear and her two cubs who looked extra hungry when they spotted us. Mr. C. Cow was more than willing to share this special pound #4. He says it’s because he’s the giving type but I, personally, think Mr. C. just thought they were going to eat us. I don’t disagree with him.
Pound #5: By the time we got down to our last pound we still had a mile and a half left in our two-mile hike. Mr. C. Cow was so full he was starting to roll down the hiking trail rather than walking on it. I had already eaten a half a pound and was not about to eat any more. An otter lady sometimes needs to watch her figure and eating that much food, kinda, defeats the whole purpose of hiking. Just as we were getting to the point where I wasn’t sure how I was going to roll Mr. C. Cow back to the camper a horse named “Danny” trotted up and offered to help me out of my trail mix debacle. Between the both of us we were able to, safely, roll Mr. C. Cow back to the camper.
Let this be a lesson to all of you who feel the need to take ten pounds of trail mix hiking and compromise by only taking five. Five…is a bit much for walking two miles. Take what you need and maybe an apple to balance it all out. You don’t want to find yourself in the woods with a mile and a half to go and can no longer walk. Being rolled out of the woods is a bit embarrassing if you think about it.
Don’t embarrass yourself. Eat an apple instead.
All photos taken in Second Life by…me!
Second Life Location: Yosemite Valley (M)