Posted in Nature, Park, Real Life

Tree Couture

I caught Mr. C. Cow standing outside of the camper today holding a bunch of tree branches. One in his mouth, a few strapped to his middle, and a couple on his horns held together by twisty ties.

“What in the name of nature are you doing?” I, politely, inquired.

“I’m being one with the trees!” was Mr. C.’s answer.

How is wearing multiple types of tree branches make someone “one with the trees”? Pine accented with oak makes more of a wood pile than a “one with trees” fashion statement. Mixing tree types is like wearing socks with sandals. Then again, I like to wear a beehive as an outfit centerpiece. What the heck do I know?

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These Are Trees.

I wish Marslean was camping with us. She could witness Mr. C. Cow with his tree branch couture. Marslean is also the only one of us that owns an entire tree guide. I only have a half a guide as Mr. C. chewed on mine. She’s also the only one that could probably look at his wood pile of an outfit and, somehow, make it look fabulous.

While Mr. C. Cow was outside in his branch outfit singing about “Trees And Love”, I got on this amazing invention called “The Internet” and looked up a few tree facts. I thought that, since I didn’t have a branch ensemble, I could, at least, learn more than the words “bark” and “leaf”.

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These Are Also Trees….

Did you know that the indentation between the lobes of a leaf are called a “sinus”? 

I’m now staring out the window at Mr. C. Cow’s outfit trying to find ear lobes on a leaf and figure out if they get sinus infections. Nature is hard.

I think it’s time to get Mr. C. back into the camper, minus the tree garb, and back on the road. His little nature stunt has made me realize we might need to brush up on our timber knowledge.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos (taken by me!) while out and about in the wonderful, real world of nature.

Yes….I do know that trees do not have ear lobes OR sinus infections.

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Posted in Food, Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

Hay There

I apologize for the lack of a postcard last week Thursday. Mr. C. Cow has been taking typing lessons and spend the entire day practicing. He’s trying to get his “words per minute” speed up from three to ten. Typing with hoofs can’t be easy and finding out that words like “dfa;ejoiardd” and “areraeasdereeee” are not real can be frustrating. Mr. C. could use “talk to type” but he’s determined to do it on his own.  I’m glad he’s putting a little effort into it with the classes and practice.

Since Mr. C. Cow was preoccupied with his work, I spent the day at a petting zoo feeding the animals. I must say that I never thought this would be a relaxing way to pass the time. Normally this would be a stressed filled activity involving the feeding of wildlife as well as the feeding of Mr. C. I should call it “expensive and stressful”.

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“Hay” There Tiny Deer!

Being an otter, I am naturally curious as to why other animals choose the career path of professional zoo animal. A pro zoo animal is hard enough but being a pro petting zoo animal must be harder. Not only do you have to be on public display but people are always trying to pet you. I don’t even like it when someone touches my beehive. Germs is another reason why I could never take this type of work. Who knows where those hands have been!

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In It For The Free Food!

I asked a lot of different animals why they decided to get into the professional petting zoo field. The chipmunks were all about the free food. A llama told me it was for the great dental benefits. One goat told me she was doing it to help pay for her liberal arts degree. I can understand the need to make a living. More power to all you zoo animals out there!

When I returned from my educational excursion, Mr. C. Cow was eating a peanut butter banana sandwich and watching old reruns of “As The Cowbell Tings”. Sneaking a peek at his timed typing practice quizzes, I noticed he increased his word count from three to a solid twelve. In celebration of his mastery over a keyboard I should take him to the petting zoo sometime. With extra food to keep the costs down and a cocktail to calm my nerves.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by….Me!

Second Life Location: Halcyon Romantic Gardens And Ballroom (M) 

Posted in Bar/Pub, Beach, Food, Park, Tourist Attraction

Nacho Problem

I’ve been to a lot of different kinds of bars before. Cocktail bars. Salad bars. I’ve even tasted a candy bar at the risk of losing my girlish otter figure. Mr. C. Cow has decided to “raise the bar” by finding us one that involves nachos.

When I think of a nacho bar, I keep picturing a bunch of cheesy tortilla chips kicking back, having a beer, discussing the pros and cons of jalapeños. I know this can’t be true as tortilla chips prefer to discuss the market price of tomatoes.

Mr. C. Cow, being smart in the food department, knows I’m just being silly and informs me that a nacho bar just involves the opportunity to make as many nachos as possible. If you want to eat fifty plates of nachos that are only covered in lettuce and salsa then knock yourself out. I don’t know how one could eat fifty plates but Mr. C. has goals.

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So many choices!

I do have a bit of a nacho problem as I want to try all of the toppings but can’t seem to fit them onto one plate. Mr. C. Cow suggested I skip the tiny plates and use a hubcap from the camper instead. I don’t feel like washing cheese off of a hubcap so I’ll just skip the whole process. He can partake in the all you can eat while I find the type of bar that serves craft beers.

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I like crafts!

After I had a few libations, I felt it was time to call it a day. The camper was parked for the evening and I just wanted to go to bed. Mr. C. Cow wasn’t done making nachos so he decided to use a surfboard to carry his creations back to the camper. A surfboard is almost as ridiculous as a hubcap plate but a little more awkward due to length. How was he going to get it in the camper? How many nachos does it take to fill a surfboard? Is it safe to try to walk down stairs with a nacho surfboard?

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Watch Your Step!!!!

To combat the stairs he kinda nacho surfed the board down, carefully, not losing a single jalapeño or chip. We should start a nacho surfing competition. Give out prizes for style. Points lost if you lose a topping.

On that note, I bid you all a good day but before I finish today’s postcard I want to leave you with a joke.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

Hey…at least it was a good attempt!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken by me in Second Life.

Second Life Location: Eclipse Tiny Place (M) 

Posted in Camping, Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

S’more Math

It’s very difficult to find hiking boots that fit a tiny otter foot (paw…flipper…whatever..). Since my foot is so small others have suggested that I look in the children’s shoe section for a better size. Children with feet my size do not hike. They kinda waddle around and fall down a lot. No real market for hiking boots.

Mr. C. Cow can, strangely enough, find boots in his hoof size but has the problem of having to buy two pairs. Four hoofs = two pairs of hiking boots. He’s usually very thrifty and waits for a “buy one, get one half off” sale. As for where he gets boots for hoofs, I assume it’s the same place he finds anything else that fits a cow. The internet. Maybe I should browse the world-wide web for otter shoes.

Boot shopping aside, today we went camping instead of our usual nightly stay in the camper. The weather has been merciful so it’s not too hot or rainy to put up a tent. Gives me an opportunity to wash and hang bed sheets outside while giving Mr. C. Cow the opportunity to search for the perfect stick to roast s’mores on.

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Directions: Insert 1 Marshmallow Laden Stick Into Fire For Roasting. Do Not Catch On Fire!

My laundry endeavor was going brilliantly while Mr. C. Cow’s s’more stick search was not. I had managed to wash and hang multiple loads of blankets while he moo-plained about “this stick is too short” and “this stick looks too sticky”. In exchange for his help, I promised to help him find the perfect stick. His help proved to be pretty amazing as his blanket hanging skills made our campsite look like some sort of hippy blanket den. Right on!

As for the s’more stick search, this proved to be more difficult than I had imagined. Who knew that a stick had to be the perfect length, height, and width, as well as have a balanced marshmallow surface ratio. How am I suppose to figure out this whole surface balance ratio thing? Do I need to use a calculator or a protractor? Do we even own a protractor? Does anyone, actually, own a protractor and use it the correct way that isn’t a mathematician?

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Heeeerreee S’more Stick Stick Sticky Stick!

After much measuring and calculating, the proper s’more stick was put into service. To optimize our marshmallow output, our stick was able to accommodate, comfortably, twenty-three marshmallows. I, personally, don’t see the point of roasting twenty-three marshmallows for two individuals. Mr. C. Cow, on the other hand, does not see the point in not taking advantage of such a fine specimen of s’more stick.

One Cow + One Otter + Three Marshmallows Roasted = Two For Mr. C. Cow And One For Me. This seems like proper math! Mr. C. Cow, on the other hand, sees it as twenty-two for himself and one for me. Fair? Not really, but I don’t want more than one anyways. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t get marshmallow sick.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All Photo’s Taken In Second Life By Me

Second Life Location: Trail’s End National Park (M)

If you’re wondering, the marshmallows were vegan. Neither Mr. C. Cow or I eat gelatin. (Especially after Mr. C. found out what gelatin is made of. Yikes!)

We actually do own a protractor and use it on a regular basis. Take that math!

 

Posted in Food, Park, Tourist Attraction

Popped Corn And The Giant Boot

I’ve mentioned in the past how much I enjoy finding weird tourist attractions at the side of the road. Like the time we, randomly, found a gigantic pencil. Sometimes we are looking for things on the enormous/weird side, get sidetracked, then accidentally find it. Today is a great example of how one cow’s food related sidetracked mind led us to finding something that was both enormous and extra weird.

While searching for a gigantic roadside attraction, Mr. C. Cow was distracted by the delicious smell of popped corn. I know what you’re thinking. He’s always distracted by food. Well…ok…I can’t argue with that. Must have something to do with his whole “multiple stomaches/being a cow” thing. We had to stop because Mr. C. started drooling on the dashboard. A slobber covered dashboard is not only disgusting it’s also…it’s just disgusting.

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Get Your Popcorn Here!

While he munched happily on his bag o’ popped corn, I noticed that we were at some sort of festival/fair shindig. Barkers crying out for us to try to pop the balloon and win a prize. Giggles and screams coming from the people riding the “Ferret Wheel”….Ferret Wheel?

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Seriously…It’s A Ferret Wheel!!

These ferrets manning the wheel were some of the biggest ferrets I have ever spied my little peepers on. Did they pump iron to get that big? Get stretched out like taffy? Mr. C. Cow, not being one of tact, outright asked them how they grew so tall. Genetics and a balanced breakfast was their answer. I wonder what kind of breakfast makes you that large! Have to say that these colossal creatures  fit the roadside attraction mark perfectly.

As Mr. C. Cow munched and crunched his popped corn on the way back to the camper we ran into something that was not only immense but, somehow, lacked in the odor department. Two jumbo roadside attractions in one day??!!?? Our lucky day!!!

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That’s One Giant Boot!

I have never, in the history of footwear, ever seen a high-heeled boot so large before. Mr. C. Cow does have a pair of REALLY TALL platform boots but these do not compare to the height of these mammoth boots. Just like the oversized ferrets, these got me thinking. Who is that tall that they need boots that big? How do they keep the foot odor down? Hefty sized odor protectors? Do these boots cost more than a house? Skyscraper? Skyscraper house? Can anyone, please, answer these questions??!!!?

Who runs this festival/fair shindig? Mr. C. Cow and I assume that it’s someone with a lot of money and big feet. If I was to attempt to put one of these boots on you would never see me again. I would fall into the endless, dark, boot pit. Mr. C. Cow thought that was too funny and wouldn’t stop moo-laughing at the idea of me falling to my doom. I didn’t think it was that funny.

When life gives you popped corn it sometimes throws in a pair of sizable footwear and some ferrets that eat a balanced breakfast.

What a weird day.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by me.

SL Location: Happiness Amusement Park (M) 

Posted in Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

Cold Pizza

I caught Mr. C. Cow cleaning his snowboarding equipment and getting ready for winter. It’s still July!  We still have to finish up Summer and get through the Fall before we even start thinking about snowboarding.

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It’s Too Early For Snow!!!

Mr. C’s reasoning was that one can never be too prepared ahead of snow. I can understand the need to keep your equipment clean all year round but it seems a bit too early. He even started trying on gloves and hats to go with the snowboarding equipment. If he starts trying on snow suits I’m stopping him. It’s too hot for that and I’m afraid he’ll get heat stroke.

I can understand why Mr. C. Cow is looking towards Winter. It’s hot outside. Trying to cool off hasn’t been the simplest of tasks. What he doesn’t remember is how much he complained when it was cold outside. Mr. C. would cry about how his hoofs felt like icicles. (I had to remind him to wear boots.) He would blubber over how his ears were cold. (I reminded him to put a hat on.) Once he even complained that the snow was too “snowy”. I’m not sure how snow can be too “snowy” but Mr. C. found a way to make it a big deal. I love this cow very much but sometimes he finds things to lament over just because.

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I Don’t Even Want To Think About Snow!

We all like to complain about something at times. I have been a bit grumbly over the heat wave we’ve been under lately. When I feel too hot I think about how bad it gets when it’s chilly outside. Frozen beehives. Trying to find a coat that fits someone short. Makes me feel, slightly, better when I’m sweating to death. When Mr. C. Cow starts mumbling about cold pizza or his shoes not being shiny enough he’ll usually find something constructive to do. (Like clean snowboarding equipment.)

I’m going to let him continue with his winter sports preparation. If it keeps his mind off of things that are bugging him then knock yourself out Mr. C. Cow. I’m going to get my mind off of the heat by making lemonade and pretending I’m on the beach.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by…Me!

SL Location: Hikaru – Snowy Winter (M)

 

Posted in Food, Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

The Ballad Of Five Pounds

Mr. C. Cow and I went on a hike today. It started out as any of our typical hikes because Mr. C. wanted to pack WAY TOO MUCH trail mix than was needed. Ten pounds of trail mix is a bit much for the two of us to eat on a two-mile hike. He insisted that we might run into woodland creatures in desperate need of a mixture of cereal, nuts, and chocolate candies. Even helping others doesn’t justify carrying ten pounds around. We settled on five.

Let me break down what happened to each individual pound of trail mix. This is where they typical just gets weird.

Pound #1: We made it, about, 50 yards when it was time to stop for a trail mix break. We split the first pound but I think that Mr. C. Cow got more chocolate candies in his half then I did. I swear that a half a pound would at least yield more than three pieces.

Pound #2: This pound was thrown on the ground. No! Not randomly thrown on the ground! It was thrown on the ground for the birds flying by. Thrown on the ground for a pack of butterflies. Individual pieces were handed out to tiny bugs that were just passing through. I saw a beetle sneak off with at least five large pieces on his back. As of this very moment no bugs, butterflies, or birds are without trail mix in the woods today.

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Even Butterflies Like Trail Mix!

Pound #3: Mr. C. Cow ate the whole pound by himself. How do I know this? I know this because he went behind a tree to do “his private business” and came back a pound lighter in the trail mix department. I guess that “private business” means different things to both of us.

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Not Pictured: Mr. C. Cow Crunch Munching Behind A Tree.

Pound #4: This pound went to a good cause. It was given to a mother bear and her two cubs who looked extra hungry when they spotted us. Mr. C. Cow was more than willing to share this special pound #4. He says it’s because he’s the giving type but I, personally, think Mr. C. just thought they were going to eat us. I don’t disagree with him.

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Um…Yeah…I Just Want Your Trail Mix….

Pound #5: By the time we got down to our last pound we still had a mile and a half left in our two-mile hike. Mr. C. Cow was so full he was starting to roll down the hiking trail rather than walking on it. I had already eaten a half a pound and was not about to eat any more. An otter lady sometimes needs to watch her figure and eating that much food, kinda, defeats the whole purpose of hiking. Just as we were getting to the point where I wasn’t sure how I was going to roll Mr. C. Cow back to the camper a horse named “Danny” trotted up and offered to help me out of my trail mix debacle. Between the both of us we were able to, safely, roll Mr. C. Cow back to the camper.

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Hi! I’m Danny! 

Let this be a lesson to all of you who feel the need to take ten pounds of trail mix hiking and compromise by only taking five. Five…is a bit much for walking two miles. Take what you need and maybe an apple to balance it all out. You don’t want to find yourself in the woods with a mile and a half to go and can no longer walk. Being rolled out of the woods is a bit embarrassing if you think about it.

Don’t embarrass yourself. Eat an apple instead.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All photos taken in Second Life by…me!

Second Life Location: Yosemite Valley (M)