Posted in Food, Holiday, Real Life

Master Party Planner

Bishop has a birthday coming up early next week and Mr. C. Cow is over the moon at the thought of being the one to throw him a party. You can’t say no to Mr. C. when he has decided that he will be your official party planner. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a birthday or a non-major holiday he is prepared to bring the fun. Last President’s Day he made a cake in the shape of Mount Rushmore. When Marslean had her birthday last year Mr. C. Cow not only made a cake in the shape of her favorite comic book character he also made her a costume to match the cake. I think he has some sort of secret party planning closet full of supplies somewhere that I haven’t found yet.

To prepare for Bishop’s birthday he woke me up early (9am…that’s pretty early for a cow…) with a visual presentation of ideas pertaining to a birthday party. Being the type of friend that cannot pass up a good presentation I was more than happy to discuss party ideas with him. (After a cup of coffee.)

Birthday Guide 1
That’s A Mighty Long Title!

He first started out by discussing locations to have the party:

*The Shop

*The Moon

*Underwater

*The North Pole

*Inside A GIANT Pancake

Inside a giant pancake? How do you have a party inside of a pancake?  It’s not like a pancake is a watermelon you can hollow out. I think Mr. C. Cow was starting to get distracted by the thought of breakfast. One should never have a party planning meeting before eating breakfast. I think we’ll just have the party at the shop.

Birthday Guide 2
Poor Eyeless Fish!

While I approve of baby chickens I don’t think that they would be a great idea for Bishop’s birthday. Even if they can do a chorus line, like Mr. C. Cow says, I still don’t think having something that tiny doing high kicks is a good idea. Baby chickens around big machinery is not a safe idea. Everything else he said a birthday must have I agree with. Can’t have a birthday without cake!

Ahh….cake. Cake…Cake…Cake. Mr. C. Cow had QUITE A FEW ideas for what the cake should be shaped like. Of course he did. He is a party planning master.

*Lawnmower

*Bulldozer

*Mermaid

*A Life-Sized Cake In The Shape Of Bishop

*Coffee Pot

I was thinking more on the lines of having a normal looking cake. Something that could be round or square. Easy to frost and put candles on. Mr. C. Cow, on the other hoof, felt that the cake needed to reflect Bishop. I don’t think a mermaid reflects Bishop and making a life-sized polar bear cake would take a lot of frosting. We’ll have to come back to the cake.

Birthday Guide 3
Sparkly?

I don’t think that Bishop would wear anything sparkly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in anything sparkly, shiny, or remotely glossy. As for the bulldozer sunglasses I don’t even know where you would purchase them. Mr. C. Cow would know because he always seems to figure out where to find weirdly shaped objects. I also feel that Bishop wouldn’t want a milk can.

I’m glad we have a few days to hash out a birthday party plan. The most important part of throwing a party is, actually, asking the birthday bear if he even wants a party. Mr. C. Cow almost passed out at the thought of someone not wanting a big bash. He’s on his way now to ask Bishop if he can be his master party planner.

This should be interesting……

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All artwork/Presentation/Stuff Done By Us. Tada! 

Posted in News, Real Life

Pain In My Paw

I hurt my paw hand the other day. I was doing a lot of things with my right paw/hand/whatever and my paw was like “Umm…Tipsy…can you slow it down a wee bit? I’m kinda tired!”. I didn’t pay that much attention to it at the time but now I can’t help but give it a lot of attention. It hurts! Mr. C. Cow has rubbed it. Bishop gave me a bag of frozen peas to put on it. Marslean looked up something called “acu-smacking”. Acu-punching? Puncture? I’m not exactly sure what it’s called but it’s suppose to help.

My paw hurt has made me really sad this week. We can’t drive far in the camper because it hurts to grip the wheel. I can’t expect Mr. C. to do all of the driving. It’s not fair to him. (He also gets tired real easy and tries to drive with his mouth. Safety tip: don’t drive with your mouth!)

To cheer me up Bishop gave me a bunch of photos he found in a safety manual so Mr. C. Cow and I could try to guess what they mean. He knows us so well!

manual1
Moonwalking on a beam is STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

I think that, deep down underneath all that bear fur, Bishop thinks it’s funny when we try to make up our own safety sign meanings. He probably doesn’t think it’s funny when we do it in his shop but doesn’t mind if we do it sitting on the couch.

Manual3
1. Beware of mean steaks while walking on rocks.  2. When lightning and a lock love each other very much they end up with a screen baby.  3. Red buttons sometimes need band aids when pushed too hard. 

I’m going to go get another frozen bag of veggies to put on my paw. This bag of peas is starting to melt and it’s making Mr. C. Cow hungry. If I keep it on any longer I’m afraid he’s going to steal it and make soup.

Manual2
1. If you try to break up the love between lightning and a lock they will drop a beam on your head.  2. Don’t play with buttons while someones trying to jump over sharp rocks.  3. Be sure to use the proper wrench while taking a splinter out of a finger. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Manual6
Pushing buttons will not make guitar picks and soda tabs fall from the conveyor god in the sky. Ask nicely. 

I want to thank my husband who is the real life Bishop (and character model) for the safety photos. He’s not a polar bear in real life but some might mistake him for one. Especially when he’s wearing a hard hat.

I did hurt my hand from spending an entire day typing postcard related stuff, photo editing, and drawing for my other site “Lizzy Zilla”. I have to learn that one cannot draw three comics, do a postcard post, photo edit, AND all the other stuff I have to do in one day. My advice? If you’re hand yells at you to take a break TAKE A BREAK!

Also want to thank my daughter who is the model with which I base the character of Marslean after. She really did look up acupuncture stuff. Please check out her photography website HERE as a big thank you!

Posted in Nature, Real Life

Rainy Day Hoof Covers

We’ve been getting a lot of rain lately. So much rain that I’ve sometimes felt that the sun had gone on vacation. Last month it rained for three days in a row. I thought that the sun had skipped vacation and decided to just retire. All of this rain was getting tiresome and there was more on the way.

“April Showers Bring Wet Grass So Don’t Even Try To Mow The Lawn Today.” – Something or other that Bishop said last month. 

Mr. C. Cow LOVES the rain. He likes to stomp in puddles and do some sort of rain dance. His rain dance involves a lot of booty wiggling and hoof clapping. Since we were going to be getting lots more rain (and a few thunderstorms!) Mr. C. went online to, who knows where, and bought himself a new pair of “rainy day hoof covers”. I snapped a picture of him outside during our last rain in his hoof covers.

Cowrainefinished
Wet Cow!

I wonder where he goes to buy “rainy day hoof covers”. He’s been wearing his yellow ones with the blue swirls a lot lately but also owns a pair of pink ones with green stars. Maybe, for his birthday, I’ll get him a raincoat and hat to match.

Mr. C. Cow loves to puddle stomp but knows to come in when it starts to thunder. Do you remember the saying “When it roars go indoors?”. He follows that rule better than anyone I know. As soon as it starts to “Kraaaaaaarrk” out side he’s inside before it can even finish its last “aarrk”. I’m glad he’s into weather safety because I don’t want to see him get zapped by lightning or something worse. Mr. C. also knows that I am deathly afraid of thunderstorms. While at home Bishop will keep me occupied with tales of heavy machinery while Mr. C. Cow makes us all hot cocoa. If Marslean is around she’ll sometimes play cards with me while Mr. C. Cow makes us all hot cocoa. (Mr. C. has a fondness for hot cocoa.)

“Hot Cocoa Makes Everything In This World Better!” – Something Mr. C. Cow said this month.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Real Life Photo (During a real storm!) taken my yours truly.

Drawing of Mr. C. Cow also by me.

I know that a lot of places have been hit hard by the weather as of late. Our thoughts go out to you! If you would like to help out those who have had disaster hit their lives then I recommend you check out the Red Cross to see what you can do to help.

Posted in Real Life

Broom-Lift

Bishop had Mr. C. Cow help him out in the shop today. While Bishop did paperwork on some construction materials he had ordered he asked Mr. C. if he could help out by sweeping up the shop. Shops, no matter how neat you try to be, always end up all sorts of dusty. Mr. C. Cow was more than happy to help out. Sweeping, for some strange reason, is one of his favorite chore related pastimes. I think it’s because he gets a kick out of the giant shop broom.

shop1
Bishop doing paperwork.

The sweeping was going splendidly for, around, ten minutes before Mr. C. Cow got distracted by a piece of construction equipment. Now….as you all know…Bishop has, currently, banned Mr. C. from driving any of the equipment. Until Mr. C. Cow can learn proper safety and how to use equipment the way it’s suppose to be used he is forbidden to drive on anything. No forklifts. No lawnmowers. No steam rolling, ground punching, or trench digging machinery allowed. Bishops not being mean. He’s just worried that Mr. C. Cow will not only hurt himself but also do damage to property and equipment. He even signed the lil’ cow up for safety courses so that, in the future, he can hop on anything he wants.

Do you think Mr. C. Cow behaved himself and finished sweeping the shop?

shop2
Oh No Mr. C. Cow!!!!!

No. He didn’t listen! Mr. C. felt that he could get the sweeping done faster if he was to attach multiple brooms to a forklift.  Lucky for him that I was the one that happened to walk into the shop while he was driving around looking for more brooms.

“Mr. C!!!!!” I exclaimed as I rushed (carefully as to not get run over) into the shop. “You’ve been forbidden to drive any of the equipment until you’ve had your classes!!!!”.

Mr. C. Cow tried to explain that he wanted to do an excellent job of shop cleaning to impress Bishop. I told him he didn’t need to use a forklift to do a sweeping job. Bishop will love the job done with a regular broom. No need to get all crazy.  At least Mr. C. Cow remembered to wear a safety hat.

After Mr. C. understood that a regular broom would be just fine I pointed out the safety stickers that were on the forklift. Until you know exactly what they mean you shouldn’t be driving a forklift.

shop3
The third picture looks like he’s attempting to pry the machine apart like some sort of jail cell bar bending jailbreak. 

After we spent a few minutes discussing the importance of respecting equipment Mr. C. Cow went back to sweeping up the rest of the shop. Just in time because Bishop was just walking back from his now finished paperwork. I’m REALLY glad that Mr. C. starts his safety classes this week. He really wants to make everyone proud.

You already make us proud Mr. C. Cow!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos and artwork all done by yours truly. 

Posted in Nature, Park, Real Life

Ghosts Of Trees Past

Mr. C. Cow and I were taking a walk the other day as a fun and safe way to relax. Little did we know that nature had other plans for us.

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Seriously we were in a wrong place at the wrong time situation. It was a pretty windy day and we were in the middle of the woods when…BAM….a HUGE half of a dead tree fell from way up high and landed on the trail in front of us. I would have gotten a good picture of this tree on the path but we ran away before other things started falling from the sky. One minute it’s a half a tree and the next it could be the whole tree. I felt like we were under some sort of nature attack.

hike1.jpg
Please Don’t Drop Anything On Us Ms. Tree!

When that tree fell many feet down to the ground it freaked out both Mr. C. and myself. I ran in one direction while Mr. C. galloped in another. He hid in a bush and I ran like the sky was falling. After our near death by tree experience we decided to not go on a hike.

What does one do when they are almost squished flat by nature? Play “Frog Hide And Seek” of course!

hike2
I See You Tiny Froggy!

I am especially good at playing hide and seek with frogs. Being pretty short I’m closer to the ground and can find them under leaves. Mr. C. Cow has a bit of an issue since he is bigger and has four hoofs. Instead of running around looking he has to tread lightly. Apologizing to a frog because you accidentally gave them a face full of hoof kinda ruins the game.

What have we learned today? We learned to not give a face full of hoof to a frog. They don’t like that. We also learned that you shouldn’t attempt to take a hike on a really windy day. Dead trees might fall from the sky and try to haunt you flat.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

We are avid nature peeps and recommend you check out the NASPD to find a state park in your area!

Also…we were, honestly, on a hike and a tree almost hit us! How rude!

Posted in Real Life

Who The Heck Is Max?

Bishop got his new lawn mower! Huzzah! Much celebration in the lawn cutting arts. Mr. C. Cow was especially excited because he, accidentally (kinda), broke the last lawn mower by thinking you could drive it “Off-Lawn”. He was thinking it was like an off-road vehicle that you drove off the beaten path. What Mr. C. didn’t understand was that you can’t drive it on gravel. Or in a lake. Or over a giant mud puddle at full lawn mowing speed. This is probably the number one reason why Mr. C. Cow has been banned from driving any of our equipment. Bishop isn’t being mean. He’s just trying to save us a bit of money and time fixing things that get broken. (Sorry Mr. C. but we will only let you drive the small things now. Not being mean but you need a bit of equipment driving practice.)

With a great piece of rider lawnmower equipment comes the great responsibility of trying to figure out what the heck the safety stickers are trying to tell us. Mr. C. Cow and  I tried our very best to figure these beauties out:

mower2A
When seeing lawn gnome behind you be sure to twist your head at a 180 degree angle.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think that a head is supposed to twist in that direction. Unless you’re an owl. (Major shout out to all the owls in my life! Hoot! Hoot!)

mower1A
If you are totally overheated do not depend on a gas can or some weird shack to help you.

Mr. C. Cow and I think that this safety sticker is really trying to tell us that they are not hot as much as they are really angry at the state of things. Don’t try to fix my anger by giving me a funky purse. Don’t try to fix my anger by making me sit in some sort of tiny home and tell me that I can get by with a kitchen the size of a bath mat. Lawn mower is angry. Give it some space.

mower4A
Double Safety! If you get D’s on your report card you get your digits chopped off. If you try to put your hand in to join a double G game they will be denied because they are not G enough.

I am so confused by these safety stickers! Where am I suppose avoid the alphabet? Am I suppose to study really hard to not get a D in any subject?  Both of us are now having nightmares that our digits will be eaten by the alphabet. This is not the best way to teach anyone their ABC’s.

mower3A
If you not give Max at least 15 percent you’re totally doomed. DOOMED!

Who is this Max fellow and how are we suppose to give him 15 percent? 15 percent of what? If we don’t know who Max is then are we automatically doomed? Neither Mr. C. Cow or myself want to be doomed! Maybe we should ask Bishop who this Max fellow is. Maybe we should stop trying to figure out what these safety signs mean and ask Bishop to explain them to us. Maybe we should just stop touching Bishop’s stuff and leave the equipment to trained professionals.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos of safety signs taken by yours truly. I found them on our personal rider lawnmower and I am happy to say that our lawn is currently mowed!

Don’t forget….we might be making silly jokes about these safety stickers but safety is no joke. Follow all instructions when operating any type of machinery. Don’t be an idiot!

Posted in Real Life

Off-Lawning

Bishop had to go lawn mower shopping the other day. The grass at the equipment company was getting a bit on the long side and our old mower wasn’t going to cut it anymore. (Get it! Lawn mower! Cut Grass!!) Our old mower was working just fine until Mr. C. Cow took it out for a joyride that he likes to call “Off-Lawning”. Lawn mowers were not meant for “Off-Lawning” adventures so this called for a trip to the hardware store.

Lawn mower shopping gives Mr. C. and I the perfect opportunity to try and figure out what all of the safety signs means on the equipment. Not sure if Bishop finds us humorous because he kept kicking tires on the mowers, sighing, and drinking his coffee while we were laughing at the stupidity of our safety sign interpretations. At one point Bishop did walk away. I thought it was because we were being overly stupid. Mr. C. Cow said he thought it was because he wanted to laugh at our jokes privately in a different aisle.

Bishop ended up coming back with the keys of one particular model he was interested in. It was called a “Huskdeerpowermow-something or other”. The safety sign on the keys was what started Mr. C. Cow and I off on another round of “Caption that safety sign!”.

mower3
Eeeek! “Do not use slug baby as a tire jack!”

While we giggled (and were slightly horrified) by the sign on the set of mower keys Bishop did a “mumble grumble” sound then moved off to talk to a salesman. This gave us the perfect opportunity to check out more of the mowers fun safety sign features.

mower1
“This Mower Can Be Used For Sweet Skateboarding Moves.”

We wondered why the guy doing his sweet moves was not wearing a helmet. He is, after all, a safety sign guy.

mower6
“Calmly drive your mower into a burning brush fire.”

Maybe this one could also mean “In case of brush fire throw leaves on it while running it over.”

mower8
“Attempting to sword fight while using this mower will lead to finger gouges.”

Can you picture someone trying to sword fight while mowing their lawn? I don’t think that’s the safest thing one could do while mowing. Maybe they should listen to the sign and save the sword fights for after the yard work is done.

Bishop decided to buy this lawnmower because it was perfect for the equipment companies lawn. Mr. C. Cow and I were happy he got it because we didn’t get to interpret all of its safety stickers.

Maybe later on this week, while Bishop is actually getting ready to mow, we can continue interpreting for you. Only if he let’s us get close enough to it. I know he’s keeping an eye on Mr. C. Cow.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All safety sticker pictures were taken by me and are actually off of our riding lawnmower. We now, currently, have a nicely mowed lawn. 

In all seriousness, don’t be an idiot. Follow all safety rules and signs when operating something like a lawn mower. Don’t get hurt by being stupid!