Posted in Bar/Pub, Tourist Attraction

Jazz Hoofs

Mr. C. Cow came up to me the other day with his front hoofs shaking away. It was like he was waving at me with both hoofs in a jolly, yet strange manner. When Mr. C. informed me that he had the “jazz hoofs”, I started to dial for a doctor. “Jazz hoofs” sounded contagious. I was afraid that he would shake so much that a body part might fall off and I would find myself in a similar situation. To my surprise, Mr. C. Cow took the phone from me, hung it up, and told me it wasn’t some sort of weird disease. Must say that I was mighty relieved!

The reason for the rhythmic hoof shaking was the many hours we had spent listening to Big Band music. Maybe we overdid it a wee bit while driving down the highway. Twelve hours of swinging music would cause anyone to do a jazz hoof thing. After extensive research we decided that the only way to cure “jazz hoofs” (without a doctor) was to visit a jazz club.

Leave it to Mr. C. Cow to find the only jazz club on the planet (possibly the universe) that employed a dragon as a bartender.

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Frank The Dragon Bartender

Usually you see a dragon employed as a gym instructor or motivational speaker. This just goes to show that you should never judge anyone based on color/gender/species. Frank, the dragon bartender, informed us that his parents wanted him to find work as a cardio workout instructor but he felt more inclined to light cocktails on fire. Who can blame him? Lighting drinks on fire sounds like a great way to make some cash. As long as you remind everyone to blow out their drink before sipping your good to go.

To alleviate the “jazz hoof” shaking that Mr. C. Cow had going on he made his way to the front of the dance floor. Swaying to the beautiful moo-sic was not only therapeutic but also fun to watch. If you’ve never watched a cow dance to the beat of a trumpet then you’re missing out on life. After a while, a snow leopard offered to be his dance partner. Together they proved to be more than adequate at the Charleston.

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May I have this dance? 

Hoofs shaking to the musical beat has taught us a few things today. We’ve learned that a doctor is not needed when you get a case of the “jazz hoofs”. To cure this, all you need is a good jazz club with great music and amazing company. When you first meet someone you should never judge them based on looks or background. Every individual is unique and that is what makes the world a wonderful place to live.

One last thing that we’ve learned today….It’s important to blow out a fire on a flaming cocktail so you don’t catch your face on fire.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos Taken In Second Life By…Me!

SL Location: The Leopard Lounge (M)

 

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Posted in Camping, Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

S’more Math

It’s very difficult to find hiking boots that fit a tiny otter foot (paw…flipper…whatever..). Since my foot is so small others have suggested that I look in the children’s shoe section for a better size. Children with feet my size do not hike. They kinda waddle around and fall down a lot. No real market for hiking boots.

Mr. C. Cow can, strangely enough, find boots in his hoof size but has the problem of having to buy two pairs. Four hoofs = two pairs of hiking boots. He’s usually very thrifty and waits for a “buy one, get one half off” sale. As for where he gets boots for hoofs, I assume it’s the same place he finds anything else that fits a cow. The internet. Maybe I should browse the world-wide web for otter shoes.

Boot shopping aside, today we went camping instead of our usual nightly stay in the camper. The weather has been merciful so it’s not too hot or rainy to put up a tent. Gives me an opportunity to wash and hang bed sheets outside while giving Mr. C. Cow the opportunity to search for the perfect stick to roast s’mores on.

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Directions: Insert 1 Marshmallow Laden Stick Into Fire For Roasting. Do Not Catch On Fire!

My laundry endeavor was going brilliantly while Mr. C. Cow’s s’more stick search was not. I had managed to wash and hang multiple loads of blankets while he moo-plained about “this stick is too short” and “this stick looks too sticky”. In exchange for his help, I promised to help him find the perfect stick. His help proved to be pretty amazing as his blanket hanging skills made our campsite look like some sort of hippy blanket den. Right on!

As for the s’more stick search, this proved to be more difficult than I had imagined. Who knew that a stick had to be the perfect length, height, and width, as well as have a balanced marshmallow surface ratio. How am I suppose to figure out this whole surface balance ratio thing? Do I need to use a calculator or a protractor? Do we even own a protractor? Does anyone, actually, own a protractor and use it the correct way that isn’t a mathematician?

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Heeeerreee S’more Stick Stick Sticky Stick!

After much measuring and calculating, the proper s’more stick was put into service. To optimize our marshmallow output, our stick was able to accommodate, comfortably, twenty-three marshmallows. I, personally, don’t see the point of roasting twenty-three marshmallows for two individuals. Mr. C. Cow, on the other hand, does not see the point in not taking advantage of such a fine specimen of s’more stick.

One Cow + One Otter + Three Marshmallows Roasted = Two For Mr. C. Cow And One For Me. This seems like proper math! Mr. C. Cow, on the other hand, sees it as twenty-two for himself and one for me. Fair? Not really, but I don’t want more than one anyways. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t get marshmallow sick.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All Photo’s Taken In Second Life By Me

Second Life Location: Trail’s End National Park (M)

If you’re wondering, the marshmallows were vegan. Neither Mr. C. Cow or I eat gelatin. (Especially after Mr. C. found out what gelatin is made of. Yikes!)

We actually do own a protractor and use it on a regular basis. Take that math!

 

Posted in Food, Park, Tourist Attraction

Popped Corn And The Giant Boot

I’ve mentioned in the past how much I enjoy finding weird tourist attractions at the side of the road. Like the time we, randomly, found a gigantic pencil. Sometimes we are looking for things on the enormous/weird side, get sidetracked, then accidentally find it. Today is a great example of how one cow’s food related sidetracked mind led us to finding something that was both enormous and extra weird.

While searching for a gigantic roadside attraction, Mr. C. Cow was distracted by the delicious smell of popped corn. I know what you’re thinking. He’s always distracted by food. Well…ok…I can’t argue with that. Must have something to do with his whole “multiple stomaches/being a cow” thing. We had to stop because Mr. C. started drooling on the dashboard. A slobber covered dashboard is not only disgusting it’s also…it’s just disgusting.

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Get Your Popcorn Here!

While he munched happily on his bag o’ popped corn, I noticed that we were at some sort of festival/fair shindig. Barkers crying out for us to try to pop the balloon and win a prize. Giggles and screams coming from the people riding the “Ferret Wheel”….Ferret Wheel?

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Seriously…It’s A Ferret Wheel!!

These ferrets manning the wheel were some of the biggest ferrets I have ever spied my little peepers on. Did they pump iron to get that big? Get stretched out like taffy? Mr. C. Cow, not being one of tact, outright asked them how they grew so tall. Genetics and a balanced breakfast was their answer. I wonder what kind of breakfast makes you that large! Have to say that these colossal creatures  fit the roadside attraction mark perfectly.

As Mr. C. Cow munched and crunched his popped corn on the way back to the camper we ran into something that was not only immense but, somehow, lacked in the odor department. Two jumbo roadside attractions in one day??!!?? Our lucky day!!!

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That’s One Giant Boot!

I have never, in the history of footwear, ever seen a high-heeled boot so large before. Mr. C. Cow does have a pair of REALLY TALL platform boots but these do not compare to the height of these mammoth boots. Just like the oversized ferrets, these got me thinking. Who is that tall that they need boots that big? How do they keep the foot odor down? Hefty sized odor protectors? Do these boots cost more than a house? Skyscraper? Skyscraper house? Can anyone, please, answer these questions??!!!?

Who runs this festival/fair shindig? Mr. C. Cow and I assume that it’s someone with a lot of money and big feet. If I was to attempt to put one of these boots on you would never see me again. I would fall into the endless, dark, boot pit. Mr. C. Cow thought that was too funny and wouldn’t stop moo-laughing at the idea of me falling to my doom. I didn’t think it was that funny.

When life gives you popped corn it sometimes throws in a pair of sizable footwear and some ferrets that eat a balanced breakfast.

What a weird day.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by me.

SL Location: Happiness Amusement Park (M) 

Posted in Home, Tourist Attraction

Date Aftermath

Recap: (If you want to read the whole postcard then click HERE!) Bishop and Tipsy go out on a date without Mr. C. Cow. Mr. C. does not understand why he can’t go but, reluctantly, stays behind to hang out with Marslean. When they return from date night Mr. C. Cow is asleep on a pile of candles, there is a bulldozer covered in shaving cream, Marslean is in a panic over a soggy pizza box, and there is toilet paper stuck to the ceiling. Now…back to the action…..

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Note To Self: Buy Toilet Paper For Warehouse Port-a-potty. 

I was in shock! How can such a mess be achieved in less than three hours time?  In all honesty, I shouldn’t be shocked. Mr. C. Cow can make a tornado level mess of a kitchen in less then thirty minutes while making muffins. Less than three hours made me grateful that nothing was on fire.

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Fire Safety People!!

After we roused Marslean out of her soggy pizza stupor and Mr. C. was put in a proper bed we started to piece together the evening:

Toilet Paper On The Ceiling: Since Mr. C. Cow didn’t have any streamers or party favors to make the evening “festive”, he used toilet paper. Marslean admitted that this was her idea. She thought it would keep him busy. It kept him busy all right!!  While throwing the toilet paper into the air it caught on one of the sprinklers. Mr. C. left them there because they looked “good hanging off of them”.

Pre-Soggy Pizza: Since Mr. C. was decorating the place to make it feel like a party, Marslean decided to order pizza. This is probably one of the few things that makes any real sense out of the whole mess. Pizza I can understand.

The Candles Part 1: To continue with the party theme candles were brought out and lit. Too many candles were brought out and lit. As they burned there was much concern as to how many flames were being produced. In a panic, Mr. C. Cow grabbed a bottle of shaving cream instead of the fire extinguisher. As Marslean galloped around in a panic, shaving cream went flying everywhere. The candles were put out but the bulldozer suffered a bath in the stuff.

Wet Toilet Paper On The Ceiling: (At this point in the story Bishop was clenching his jaw.) While Marslean went to get the pizza delivery and try to de-stress, Mr. C. Cow was having none of it. De-stress? Ha! Not Mr. C.! He started moo-running in circles in a tizzy over almost burning the shop down. During this panic attack he tripped over the toilet paper hanging from the sprinklers and “WOOOSH!” water sprayed everywhere.

Now Soggy Pizza: As the water “WOOSH-ED” from the ceiling it hit the pizza boxes, instantly making them mushy. Mr. C. Cow collapsed on the pile of candles and went to sleep. Marslean was left to mourn the loss of dinner.

What? How? WAAAAAAA……

All I could do was shake my head and not be surprised that any of this happened. Bishop, calmly (with jaw still clenched) gave me a hug, and went to clean off the bulldozer. Lessons were learned that evening. Marslean learned of Mr. C. Cow’s exuberance for life.  I learned that I should plan something constructive for him to do BEFORE going out on a date. Bishop learned that he shouldn’t leave random bottles of shaving cream in the shop. Mr. C. Cow learned that sleeping on candles is uncomfortable.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All photos taken by me in Second Life

Second Life Location: (Our own place) Tealeaf Equipment On Route 11 (M) 

 

Posted in Food, Resort/Hotel, Tourist Attraction

Date Night

Bishop and I have been together for a very long time. Longer then the time it takes a beehive to out of style then back in style. (Has it ever been out of style? I’m bad at examples today!) We have been together for so long that no one is starting to wonder how a relationship between a polar bear and an otter works. (It works on love, commitment, and sometimes having to deal with the whole height issue thing.) I’m always on the road traveling and sending postcards with my best buddy Mr. C. Cow while Bishop working hard at the equipment shop. When we both have a bit of free time we like to go someplace romantic (Woo Woo!) and enjoy each other’s company. The being “just the two of us” part is sometimes hard when Mr. C. is involved.

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Romance Ahead!

Case in point: This past week Bishop wasn’t busy at the shop and we were close to home so he asked if I would like to accompany him for a romantic dinner. I, of course, said YES and went off to primp my hair to large, amorous proportions while Bishop took off the hard hat (He doesn’t always wear one!) and brushed his furs. Mr. C. Cow was FURIOUS at us!

“Why can’t I go have dinner with you guys? I like dinner!” -Mr. C. Cow

“It’s a “romantic dinner” and we would like to take some time to spend together.” – Me

“I like romantic dinners!! Those are the ones where you get to eat candles right?” – Mr. C. Cow

This went on for quite some time until Marslean stepped in and offered to dine with (code word for “watch”) Mr. C. for the night. She promised him candles as long as he didn’t try to eat them. There were promises of a hay appetizer followed by some sort of fancy berry desert that would more then make up for his exclusion from our date night.

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Bishop knows the best spots!

This worked out splendidly! (As far as we knew at that time.) We drank champagne, danced, ate, and enjoyed each others company all evening long. Stories were told of how we met and how we ended up together. When Bishop tried to pick up a tiny wine glass with his giant paws I giggled just as he giggled at my colossal hair knocking over a floral arrangement. Having the time alone was wonderful and we sorely needed it.

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Dinner AND A View!

When we returned our greeting was in the form of toilet paper stuck to the ceiling as if by some magical force. Shaving cream covering a bulldozer. A cow asleep on a pile of candles. Marslean almost in a panic over a box of soggy pizza. Our night might have went beautifully but something happened at home.

I wonder what it was……

“Tipsy” Cerulean

I took photos in Second Life and used them. Huzzah!

Second Life Location: Casa de Amoras Restaurant (M)

Posted in Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

Cold Pizza

I caught Mr. C. Cow cleaning his snowboarding equipment and getting ready for winter. It’s still July!  We still have to finish up Summer and get through the Fall before we even start thinking about snowboarding.

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It’s Too Early For Snow!!!

Mr. C’s reasoning was that one can never be too prepared ahead of snow. I can understand the need to keep your equipment clean all year round but it seems a bit too early. He even started trying on gloves and hats to go with the snowboarding equipment. If he starts trying on snow suits I’m stopping him. It’s too hot for that and I’m afraid he’ll get heat stroke.

I can understand why Mr. C. Cow is looking towards Winter. It’s hot outside. Trying to cool off hasn’t been the simplest of tasks. What he doesn’t remember is how much he complained when it was cold outside. Mr. C. would cry about how his hoofs felt like icicles. (I had to remind him to wear boots.) He would blubber over how his ears were cold. (I reminded him to put a hat on.) Once he even complained that the snow was too “snowy”. I’m not sure how snow can be too “snowy” but Mr. C. found a way to make it a big deal. I love this cow very much but sometimes he finds things to lament over just because.

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I Don’t Even Want To Think About Snow!

We all like to complain about something at times. I have been a bit grumbly over the heat wave we’ve been under lately. When I feel too hot I think about how bad it gets when it’s chilly outside. Frozen beehives. Trying to find a coat that fits someone short. Makes me feel, slightly, better when I’m sweating to death. When Mr. C. Cow starts mumbling about cold pizza or his shoes not being shiny enough he’ll usually find something constructive to do. (Like clean snowboarding equipment.)

I’m going to let him continue with his winter sports preparation. If it keeps his mind off of things that are bugging him then knock yourself out Mr. C. Cow. I’m going to get my mind off of the heat by making lemonade and pretending I’m on the beach.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by…Me!

SL Location: Hikaru – Snowy Winter (M)

 

Posted in Tourist Attraction

Sizzled Out

We’re currently in a heat wave and there seems to be no end in sight. It’s so hot that the camper is smelling like sweaty cow pits and wilted beehives. It’s so hot that Bishop melted at least three hard hats when in contact with direct sunlight. (He wasn’t wearing them at the time so no polar bears were harmed in the writing of this postcard.) The heat is so unbearable (No bear pun intended!) that Mr. C. Cow has broiled three kiddie pools do to the sun evaporating all the water out of them. Marslean has attempted to use her wing power to cool him but she started sweating and it wasn’t pretty.

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Dramatic (and melted) heat interpretation.

Due to the blazing warmth we have been forced to come up with creative ways to stay cool. A few ideas have worked while others have sizzled out (That one was meant to be a heat joke. HAHAHAHA!)

Lemon Ice: I like frozen lemon ice. It’s great on a sweltering day. Keeps you cool and tastes refreshing. This seems like a good idea but as soon as it hit the outside it puddled up in to a giant lemon lake. The lake then slowly disappeared in the sunlight only to leave its lemony scent behind. Rest in peace lemon ice.

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I’ll take five of each please!

Tie Bags Of Ice To Body: This was one of Mr. C. Cows dazzling ideas. As soon as he walked outside his “Udderly Rad Udder Cooling System” became nothing more than two empty ice bags stuck to his udders. There is nothing sadder then a cow wearing plastic on his underside. After seeing the look on Mr. C’s face I think this is a moment in time we won’t mention again.

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Not even grog is going to help lil’ pirate buddy.

Safety Vest Cooling System: Mr. C. Cow took one of Bishops safety vests and added a fan to it in an attempt to wear a “safety fan”. Bishop was reluctant to try it on but he didn’t want to hurt any cow feelings. Fitted into the vest and given instructions on how this contraption worked it, was fired up and the air started pumping. It kept pumping and pumping to the point where the vest swelled up. Yes…it did keep the body cool but Bishop ended up looking like some sort of holiday parade construction balloon. I don’t think he’s going to keep wearing it.

When Mr. C. Cow started designing a way to wear a “water hat” it was time to call it quits. I think we’re just going to spend the time in the shop office standing in front of the air conditioner. When it’s this hot it’s safer to stay where it’s cool than risk going out there and melting into a puddle of goo.

Hopefully this heat will let up soon!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All photos taken by me in Second Life.

Second Life Location: Simple’s Zoo Of All Things (M)

We are in a heat wave at the moment that doesn’t look like it will let up for days. Temps around 100f and a heat index so high that you can probably bake cookies on my picnic table. I want to take the time to remind everyone to keep all of your pets hydrated as well as protect their little paws from hot surfaces.