Hope that everyone had a safe and happy New Years Eve (and Day)!
We spent our holiday quietly at a cabin in the woods.
When it came around time to get the snacks out, Mr. C. Cow said that he was having popcorn chicken over to ring in the new year. I was somewhat baffled over Mr. C. telling us we were having this as a meal. We’re vegetarian so the thought of him ordering up a bucket of fried meat products was bizarre. Turns out that popcorn should be capitalized as it is the name of a chicken he met at a book club meeting.
Popcorn Chicken was just a nickname. His real name was Wilford and he owned a food cart called “Clucking Kettle Corn”. Bishop made some sort of strange noise that sounded like a giggle but he wouldn’t tell me why a kettle corn food cart would make him laugh. He just shook his head and wandered off to put on a pot of coffee.
The rest of the evening was relaxing. Bishop and I played cards. Marslean told tall tales of Father Time to Mr. C. Cow and Popcorn. When midnight hit, Mr. C. put on a hat and ran around the yard screaming “Happy New Year” while banging on a pan. Popcorn joined in and made so much noise that Bishop had to ask them to quit it and stop denting his pans.
We hope that 2018 brings all of you joy, happiness, and a few non-dented pans.
Mr. C. Cow and I LOVE roadside attractions. The ones where you can take your picture with a giant ball of yarn or trout. Every year it seems harder to find any to stop at. It’s like people are no longer impressed with a six-story block of cheese. We don’t understand why this is happening. To us it’s a nostalgic dip into our childhood.
When Mr. C. Cow was just a wee little calf his parents took him to a roadside attraction that had a chicken in a machine that played you in tic-tac-toe. Instead of just playing the chicken they became friends when he “liberated” Ms. Clucks from her machine prison. The guy who owned the machine was not pleased with this so there was a bit of running while yelling “Flee! Flee!!!!”. I’ve never had the pleasure of jailbreaking a chicken out of a machine but I did save a duck from a soda pack ring. Dwayne the duck was forever grateful to get rid of his “trashy fashion piece”. (Cut the rings people! Think of Dwayne!)
Maybe, if Bishop is ok with it, we could have our own giant roadside attraction at the shop. Mr. C. Cow is rooting for a giant milk can (of course). I was thinking of getting the worlds largest bulldozer. Or…..a building shaped like a bulldozer! We decided to do a bit of brainstorming and made a list of what we want to build as an attraction to give to Bishop:
Building shaped like a drum set
Worlds largest potato salad
Gigantic lava lamp
Fully drinkable, LARGE martini
HUGE statue of Mr. C. Cow (Yes….Mr. C. came up with this one….)
Hopefully Bishop likes at least one of our ideas.
If you had a roadside attraction what would it be?
The other day Mr. C. Cow and I drove through a town that had a chicken statue.
I thought that, maybe, the chicken had been some sort of historical figure. The world was a different time when the Chicken was alive. Back in 1743 Captain Chicken found himself surrounded by the great turkey hordes from the North. His rations as well the moral of his soldiers was low. Only armed with a corn kernel and his own drumsticks, Captain Chicken was able to defeat the invading poultry army. The villagers rejoiced in his victory and decided to erect a statue in his honor.
Mr. C. Cow thought he might be the founding chicken father of the village. A long time ago chickens would travel via wagon train to find a new home. Making his way through the dangerous swamps of North DaLafornia, Mr. Chicken came across a clearing. Here, he felt, was the perfect place to settle down. Maybe raise a few eggs. Build a few coops. Here, in this beautiful clearing, a village was born. In honor of founding the village they erected a statue in his honor.
How did this chicken statue get here? Who built it? Was he an important chicken? Our imaginations ran wild as we got back into the camper and sped off. After about an hour we realized something…..WE FORGOT TO READ THE STATUES PLAQUE!