Posted in Nature, Park, Real Life

Tree Couture

I caught Mr. C. Cow standing outside of the camper today holding a bunch of tree branches. One in his mouth, a few strapped to his middle, and a couple on his horns held together by twisty ties.

“What in the name of nature are you doing?” I, politely, inquired.

“I’m being one with the trees!” was Mr. C.’s answer.

How is wearing multiple types of tree branches make someone “one with the trees”? Pine accented with oak makes more of a wood pile than a “one with trees” fashion statement. Mixing tree types is like wearing socks with sandals. Then again, I like to wear a beehive as an outfit centerpiece. What the heck do I know?

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These Are Trees.

I wish Marslean was camping with us. She could witness Mr. C. Cow with his tree branch couture. Marslean is also the only one of us that owns an entire tree guide. I only have a half a guide as Mr. C. chewed on mine. She’s also the only one that could probably look at his wood pile of an outfit and, somehow, make it look fabulous.

While Mr. C. Cow was outside in his branch outfit singing about “Trees And Love”, I got on this amazing invention called “The Internet” and looked up a few tree facts. I thought that, since I didn’t have a branch ensemble, I could, at least, learn more than the words “bark” and “leaf”.

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These Are Also Trees….

Did you know that the indentation between the lobes of a leaf are called a “sinus”? 

I’m now staring out the window at Mr. C. Cow’s outfit trying to find ear lobes on a leaf and figure out if they get sinus infections. Nature is hard.

I think it’s time to get Mr. C. back into the camper, minus the tree garb, and back on the road. His little nature stunt has made me realize we might need to brush up on our timber knowledge.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos (taken by me!) while out and about in the wonderful, real world of nature.

Yes….I do know that trees do not have ear lobes OR sinus infections.

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Posted in Food, Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

The Ballad Of Five Pounds

Mr. C. Cow and I went on a hike today. It started out as any of our typical hikes because Mr. C. wanted to pack WAY TOO MUCH trail mix than was needed. Ten pounds of trail mix is a bit much for the two of us to eat on a two-mile hike. He insisted that we might run into woodland creatures in desperate need of a mixture of cereal, nuts, and chocolate candies. Even helping others doesn’t justify carrying ten pounds around. We settled on five.

Let me break down what happened to each individual pound of trail mix. This is where they typical just gets weird.

Pound #1: We made it, about, 50 yards when it was time to stop for a trail mix break. We split the first pound but I think that Mr. C. Cow got more chocolate candies in his half then I did. I swear that a half a pound would at least yield more than three pieces.

Pound #2: This pound was thrown on the ground. No! Not randomly thrown on the ground! It was thrown on the ground for the birds flying by. Thrown on the ground for a pack of butterflies. Individual pieces were handed out to tiny bugs that were just passing through. I saw a beetle sneak off with at least five large pieces on his back. As of this very moment no bugs, butterflies, or birds are without trail mix in the woods today.

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Even Butterflies Like Trail Mix!

Pound #3: Mr. C. Cow ate the whole pound by himself. How do I know this? I know this because he went behind a tree to do “his private business” and came back a pound lighter in the trail mix department. I guess that “private business” means different things to both of us.

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Not Pictured: Mr. C. Cow Crunch Munching Behind A Tree.

Pound #4: This pound went to a good cause. It was given to a mother bear and her two cubs who looked extra hungry when they spotted us. Mr. C. Cow was more than willing to share this special pound #4. He says it’s because he’s the giving type but I, personally, think Mr. C. just thought they were going to eat us. I don’t disagree with him.

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Um…Yeah…I Just Want Your Trail Mix….

Pound #5: By the time we got down to our last pound we still had a mile and a half left in our two-mile hike. Mr. C. Cow was so full he was starting to roll down the hiking trail rather than walking on it. I had already eaten a half a pound and was not about to eat any more. An otter lady sometimes needs to watch her figure and eating that much food, kinda, defeats the whole purpose of hiking. Just as we were getting to the point where I wasn’t sure how I was going to roll Mr. C. Cow back to the camper a horse named “Danny” trotted up and offered to help me out of my trail mix debacle. Between the both of us we were able to, safely, roll Mr. C. Cow back to the camper.

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Hi! I’m Danny! 

Let this be a lesson to all of you who feel the need to take ten pounds of trail mix hiking and compromise by only taking five. Five…is a bit much for walking two miles. Take what you need and maybe an apple to balance it all out. You don’t want to find yourself in the woods with a mile and a half to go and can no longer walk. Being rolled out of the woods is a bit embarrassing if you think about it.

Don’t embarrass yourself. Eat an apple instead.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All photos taken in Second Life by…me!

Second Life Location: Yosemite Valley (M) 

Posted in Tourist Attraction

Doom Hike

Mr. C. Cow and I decided to take a night hike the other day. Try to find some nocturnal animals like an owl or two. Have a conversation with a bat. After this last night hike I have decided that Mr. C. Cow is no longer allowed to pick the path we take. At least until he figures out that not all paths are good paths.

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Well…that doesn’t scream “Fun Hike”.

You cannot, seriously, feel that walking down a path lined with nothing but forbidding darkness, a feeling of certain destruction, and some sort of weird crying statues is a good idea.

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Really Mr. C. Cow?

He was just humming away trying to do some sort of funky owl call (It mostly involved a lot of “Mooo Hooooo….Mooo Hooo” sounds. Do cow owls exist?). Having a grand old time. Not thinking about the fact that we were walking into some really scary looking places in the middle of nowhere.

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You SERIOUSLY want me to walk around that? 

I can understand how some people (and cows) can look at things and positively spin it no matter how it might look to others. What I can’t understand is how an individual (Mr. C. Cow in particular) can look at a path full of weeping, broken statues, and think it’s the best place to look for nocturnal animals that won’t try to eat you.

Halfway through our doom hike we came to a large body of water that was full of skeletons trying to get out. I’m running around in circles making an “Ahhh Ahh Ahhhhhh!!!!” sound while Mr. C. Cow pays them no mind. He just thinks the water got too cold to swim in so they were exiting to dry off.

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I don’t think they own towels. 

The last straw in our hike of pure terror was when Mr. C. Cow stopped to ask a large sea creature for directions to the nearest snack bar. They were nice enough but it seemed to me that every time we turned around to look in the direction they were pointing a tentacle would attempt to grab us. Mr. C. Cow thought they just had a mind of their own. I just thought they had a mind to grab us and plunge us into an underwater grave.

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Snack Bars That Way!

Somehow, against all odds, we made it safely back to the camper. Somehow Mr. C. Cow was able to find a nice snack bar. I can appreciate someone who sees the glass as half full but his chipper optimism sometimes borders on dangerous. Next time we go on a hike I’m picking the trail.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Second Life Location: Calas Galadhon’s ‘Neverland’ (M)

Open until Halloween so visit before it’s gone!