I caught Mr. C. Cow cleaning his snowboarding equipment and getting ready for winter. It’s still July! We still have to finish up Summer and get through the Fall before we even start thinking about snowboarding.
Mr. C’s reasoning was that one can never be too prepared ahead of snow. I can understand the need to keep your equipment clean all year round but it seems a bit too early. He even started trying on gloves and hats to go with the snowboarding equipment. If he starts trying on snow suits I’m stopping him. It’s too hot for that and I’m afraid he’ll get heat stroke.
I can understand why Mr. C. Cow is looking towards Winter. It’s hot outside. Trying to cool off hasn’t been the simplest of tasks. What he doesn’t remember is how much he complained when it was cold outside. Mr. C. would cry about how his hoofs felt like icicles. (I had to remind him to wear boots.) He would blubber over how his ears were cold. (I reminded him to put a hat on.) Once he even complained that the snow was too “snowy”. I’m not sure how snow can be too “snowy” but Mr. C. found a way to make it a big deal. I love this cow very much but sometimes he finds things to lament over just because.
We all like to complain about something at times. I have been a bit grumbly over the heat wave we’ve been under lately. When I feel too hot I think about how bad it gets when it’s chilly outside. Frozen beehives. Trying to find a coat that fits someone short. Makes me feel, slightly, better when I’m sweating to death. When Mr. C. Cow starts mumbling about cold pizza or his shoes not being shiny enough he’ll usually find something constructive to do. (Like clean snowboarding equipment.)
I’m going to let him continue with his winter sports preparation. If it keeps his mind off of things that are bugging him then knock yourself out Mr. C. Cow. I’m going to get my mind off of the heat by making lemonade and pretending I’m on the beach.
We’re currently in a heat wave and there seems to be no end in sight. It’s so hot that the camper is smelling like sweaty cow pits and wilted beehives. It’s so hot that Bishop melted at least three hard hats when in contact with direct sunlight. (He wasn’t wearing them at the time so no polar bears were harmed in the writing of this postcard.) The heat is so unbearable (No bear pun intended!) that Mr. C. Cow has broiled three kiddie pools do to the sun evaporating all the water out of them. Marslean has attempted to use her wing power to cool him but she started sweating and it wasn’t pretty.
Due to the blazing warmth we have been forced to come up with creative ways to stay cool. A few ideas have worked while others have sizzled out (That one was meant to be a heat joke. HAHAHAHA!)
Lemon Ice: I like frozen lemon ice. It’s great on a sweltering day. Keeps you cool and tastes refreshing. This seems like a good idea but as soon as it hit the outside it puddled up in to a giant lemon lake. The lake then slowly disappeared in the sunlight only to leave its lemony scent behind. Rest in peace lemon ice.
Tie Bags Of Ice To Body: This was one of Mr. C. Cows dazzling ideas. As soon as he walked outside his “Udderly Rad Udder Cooling System” became nothing more than two empty ice bags stuck to his udders. There is nothing sadder then a cow wearing plastic on his underside. After seeing the look on Mr. C’s face I think this is a moment in time we won’t mention again.
Safety Vest Cooling System: Mr. C. Cow took one of Bishops safety vests and added a fan to it in an attempt to wear a “safety fan”. Bishop was reluctant to try it on but he didn’t want to hurt any cow feelings. Fitted into the vest and given instructions on how this contraption worked it, was fired up and the air started pumping. It kept pumping and pumping to the point where the vest swelled up. Yes…it did keep the body cool but Bishop ended up looking like some sort of holiday parade construction balloon. I don’t think he’s going to keep wearing it.
When Mr. C. Cow started designing a way to wear a “water hat” it was time to call it quits. I think we’re just going to spend the time in the shop office standing in front of the air conditioner. When it’s this hot it’s safer to stay where it’s cool than risk going out there and melting into a puddle of goo.
We are in a heat wave at the moment that doesn’t look like it will let up for days. Temps around 100f and a heat index so high that you can probably bake cookies on my picnic table. I want to take the time to remind everyone to keep all of your pets hydrated as well as protect their little paws from hot surfaces.