Posted in Food, RP, Tourist Attraction, Town/City

Toothpaste Or Bust

Do to an incident in the camper involving a certain little cow and a wee bit of tie-dye I was in desperate need of toothpaste. (Mine got dyed and ruined!) After a rough nights sleep we hit the closest town to replace my dental hygiene product. This otter right here cannot take one day without having clean teeth and minty fresh breath. It’s right up there on the importance scale around the need to wash your hands and not putting sad-looking, cheap olives in a good martini.

When we had arrived in town we were greeted by a deserted storefront with nothing to offer except for a few cockroaches and dust balls. No toothpaste to be found amongst their inventory! Mr. C. Cow offered to ask the cockroaches where we could purchase our much-needed item but I rejected this idea. They looked a little busy scurrying around the dust balls.

As we left the building to regroup and come up with a dental game plan Mr. C. wanted to ride on the sorriest looking mechanical horse I have ever seen.

Ironwood3B
Why has no one ever bothered to clean you Ms. Mechanical Horsey?

I was lucky that the horse was out-of-order as I wasn’t carrying any quarters on me. The horse also looked like no one had bothered to sanitize it in, around, a million years. Who knows what could be attached to the reins????

We looked around town and started to realize that there were no other souls to be found. It felt like the whole place had been through an explosion of filth wrapped up in a post-apocalyptic bow. Not a soul was to be seen for miles. This had me worried. If the place looked like it had been through the muck blender of life then there was no way we were going to find toothpaste. I don’t even think we could find a tissue if we needed to blow our nose.

Ironwood1B
Well…that’s a tad bit macabre….

Mr. C. Cow, the eternally optimistic cow, was determined to find me a replacement toothpaste. Something that was full of breath freshening, teeth cleaning goodness. I was starting to think that we might need to high-tail it back to the camper and just drive to the next town. The idea was starting to sound better and better by the moment until Mr. C. found a small cafe to stop and grab a bite to eat. The place looked like the health department condemned it but he thought it looked “charismatic”.

Before I could say “salmonella” Mr. C. Cow was in full gallop to see what this “charismatic” cafe had to offer. Before you could say “stomach virus” he galloping back out of the cafe moo-crying and shaking. What had scared my little cow so? I, carefully, peeked into the building to see why he was galloping for his life. I found….THIS!

Ironwood2B
What!!?? No Napkins!!!!??

My teeth could wait to be brushed. My dentist would understand if I skipped one brushing today. That cafe that scared Mr. C. Cow moo-less was the last straw. We quickly ran back to the camper and sped out of there like our lives depended on it. Maybe it did! No people. No toothpaste. Skeletons eating skeletons. Dental hygiene can wait fifty miles to the next town.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by yours truly.

All photos taken at Ironwood Hills (M) in Second Life

If you’re wondering why I needed toothpaste and how it could possibly be ruined by tie-dye then check out our previous postcard “Furry Popcorn Treats”

Advertisements
Posted in RP, Tourist Attraction, Town/City

Furry Popcorn Treats

Earlier last week Mr. C. Cow and I had that whole debate about if it was a good idea to fall into a pit/hole or not. Mr. C, for argument’s sake, took the good idea while I said that holes were not meant to be fallen into.

This week feels like the pit debate 2.0 because I find myself telling Mr. C. Cow that not all doorways/cave openings/entrances are safe to walk through. If it has giant teeth or looks like it might crunch you into tiny bits then I’ll pass. Mr. C. said that entrances were not made for one to simply not enter through them. Deja vu? I think I have it.

Ironwood1A
Just Because It Has An Arrow Doesn’t Mean You Should Go In!

I know Mr. C. Cow is just “moo-ing” with me and would never walk into an entryway that looked like a one way ticket to being someones snack. How did we get started on this discussion of dangerous entranceways? It all started with a need to find a motel for the night.

Ironwood2A
No Vacancy? No Problem! Looks Like They Might Not Have Clean Towels Anyways!

Mr. C. had decided that our camper sink was the perfect place to tie-dye stuff. I had, repeatedly, told him that he needed to do that outside of the camper as to not make a mess. Three t-shirts, one floppy hat, and a tote bag later had proven my point. There was dye everywhere! It was in the ceiling fan flinging all over the shower curtain. Mr. C. Cow had somehow tie-dyed our toilet and my tube of toothpaste was no longer safe for brushing. This little foray into the tie-dying world cost Mr. C. five hours of cleaning time plus the need to replace my toothpaste.

After the extensive dye cleaning we were both exhausted. Instead of sleeping in the camper for the night we decided to treat ourselves to fluffy pillows and room service at a five-star hotel. The problem was the fact that we couldn’t find one. All we found was a motel with a no vacancy sign. Too exhausted to drive any father we decided to find a nice place to stop for the night.

When we arrived at a camping area we were greeted by a some sort of strange carnival going on next door. That’s when we started debating the whole entrance thing. Everywhere you went in this carnival every entranceway seemed to either want to snarf you down or scare the moo right out of you.

Ironwood3A
Uh….No….

I was deathly afraid of sleeping next to some sort of freaky fair of mayhem but Mr. C. Cow informed me that it would be ok. For all of his funny business he always seems to, no matter where we are, keep us all safe. I think it’s some sort of magical cow talent. I trusted him and we went back to the camper to sleep.

The next morning we drove into the nearest town in search of toothpaste and to replenish our supply of bathroom cleaner. The town turned out to be….not as pleasant as we were hoping.

Ironwood4A
So..I’m Assuming You’re Out Of Toothpaste…

Let’s hope none of the entrances in this town treat us like furry popcorn treats.

To Be Continued….

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by me.

Second Life Location: Ironwood Hills (M)

 

 

Posted in Tourist Attraction, Town/City

Cities Never Sleep

I have never been on a subway before. Mr. C. was SHOCKED and informed me that we needed to change that ASAP! I asked him if he had ever been on a subway and he had heard me wrong and thought I had said I had never had a sub sandwich before. Not only was today the day that we were both going to ride a subway for the first time it was also the day that I made a hearing appointment for Mr. C.

Since we were close to a big city that just happened to have a subway system we decided to try our hand at taking the train. The city we were in didn’t seem like it was the best of shape. The buildings all looked like they had seen better days and there were no people around. I had always assumed that big cities never slept. Maybe they weren’t sleeping but taking a quick nap.  When we made it down to the not so clean subway platform we figured out what we were doing and safely made it on.

We settled on taking the train to one station then back so we wouldn’t get too far away from our camper. Solid plan for two solid kinda critters. The platform, like the city itself, seemed to be pretty empty. Maybe we had missed rush hour. The only other passenger on the train was a rabbit that seemed to be sleeping, with his eyes open, on the subway floor.  (We seem to have some sort of strange bunny theme going on this week!)

silenthillexperience1
That doesn’t look very sanitary!

I told Mr. C. Cow, who was creeped out by the writing on the floor, to just ignore the unusual sleeping bunny and not step on him. He managed this by sitting on the other side of the train as far away as he possibly could from the odd rabbit. I held his hoof and told him to think of the adventure we were on. First time subway rides only happen once. Enjoy the ride and look out the window.

That went just fine until we got to our destination. Just look out the window…..

silenthillexperience2
Shouldn’t you be behind some sort of safety line or whatever?

Mr. C. Cow FLIPPED OUT. I don’t blame him. I had an “EPPP!” moment myself. I told him to not blame the subway system but blame the city we decided to take our first trip in. We should have known better than to take a ride when the city seemed uninhabited. The only souls we saw was the weird bunny laying on the train car floor and this bozo who thought it would be amusing to scare the dung out of a poor little cow (and otter!).

When we got out of the train, curiously enough, that fool of a bunny who scared us through the window was nowhere to be found. That, in itself, was disturbing. Where does a giant rabbit disappear to? I didn’t want to dwell on this so we quickly made our way up and out onto the street.

Mr. C. Cow did not want to get back on the train to get to our camper. Just the thought of it made him shed a little bovine tear. I patted his shoulder and promised that the next subway trip we would take WOULD NOT be in this desolate, bizarre city. I pulled out my cell phone and called up one of those car services to come pick us up.

I’m glad the service driver seemed to be normal. She was friendly and informed us that NO ONE ever went to the city at night. Just the thought of anyone getting on the subway system in this town made her shutter. When questioned as to why she seemed to go quiet and change the subject to something more pleasant. I took the hint and we didn’t speak of this chilling place again.

silenthillexperience3
Go figure!

I learned some things today.

Don’t get on the subway in a town that doesn’t seem to have any residents.

If you see a rabbit sleeping with his eyes open while laying on a subway train floor just get off the train. Don’t even bother to take the ride.

Scaring others through a window is not cool.

Vegetarian sub sandwiches are yummy.

Mr. C. Cow, after his hearing appointment, had perfect hearing. He just wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

P.S. – We did get on the subway again in a different town. Pleasant ride! No lasting fears in Mr. C. Cow! Huzzah!

Second Life Location: Silent Hill Experience (M)

Posted in Tourist Attraction

Gingerbread Of Fleet Street

Mr. C. Cow, being in the holiday spirit, wanted to go to the source of all of that reindeer lore and present giving. It’s not easy trying to take someone to the source of the big man in the red suit and the place that presents are made. Knowing this we stopped for cookies beforehand. Cookies = Super Ho Ho Ho Strength!

north-pole-3
Try….Our…Gingerbread Cookies……

When greeted by giant ginger bread cookies asking you what you would like to try I CANNOT eat a cookie. I don’t care if it’s just in the shape of a circle. YOU CANNOT TRUST IT! (Gives the shifty “you know what I’m saying” eyes). Mr. C. Cow just had a coffee. We slowly backed out of the door like we were being stalked by some barber named Todd.

After that scary attempt at cookies we went back on Mr. C. Cow’s quest for the source of those presents that you find under a holiday tree each year. I told him it might be Santa Claus but he felt that it could be some sort of reverse thief.

Reverse thief? What in the name of jingle bells is a “reverse thief”?

Mr. C. Cow said that a “reverse thief” is someone that doesn’t steal from you but leaves you presents. It usually happens during the holidays. I asked him what a “reverse thief” looks like and he said they usually wear a lot of red and say “Ho Ho Ho” a lot. Of course I am scared of a regular thief so now I’m kinda scared of a reverse one. Not sure if I should be or not.

Lost, slightly (ok mostly) confused, and in need of directions to this so called “holiday place of origin” I stopped and asked the only individual I could think of that could help us. A penguin.

north-pole-2
Take The Fish Leave The Presents. 

We stopped. I asked. He pointed to, I am not joking, the building right in front of him. Seriously? Seriously! He said that the source of everything Kringle was right there. The almighty power of the present. The elf on the…where does it go again….in front of us. By now I am not only hungry (WHO EATS GINGER BREAD COOKIES SOLD BY GINGER BREAD PEOPLE!??!!?), confused, not exactly sure what we were doing anymore, AND in need of a  nap we had found some sort of mystical place where those presents come from that  you get every December 25th.

Mr. C. Cow was mooing in anticipation.

I was looking for a cocktail shaker because my nerves needed it. 

The penguin was using ice skates to skate around and it was confusing. (Do penguins REALLY need ice skates? Come on!)

We walked up the steps to the door. Inch by inch. Step by step. Building suspense to the next part that comes after you are suppose to build suspense. What we found was……dramatic pause….GASP

A sign.

north-pole-village-1
Wait….whaaaa?? 

Wait!

A safety sign? 

Really??!!??

Yes. It was a safety sign. Neither Mr. C. Cow or myself had any hats on us. (He had a fedora but we were told that didn’t count. Who doesn’t count a fedora? Mean people is the answer!!!)

Sadly we had to leave. All the hats were down the hill  (near that SCARY bakery) in the camper. I wasn’t sad as much as relieved (and still confused as to what the h-e-double-hockey sticks was going on in this whole postcard stop). Mr. C. Cow was also not upset. He felt that anyone that put a flat out safety sign telling him to wear a holiday hat was just trying to fake him out. (Conspiracy theory of the holidays is born!) Renewed in his quest to find the present source (and…come on Mr. C. Cow…were you NOT freaked out by the gingerbread people??) he was ready to get in the camper and ride. Ride on to our holiday source. Our ho ho destiny. Our (I’m running out of holly jolly references here) answer to the mistletoe, the stockings, and everything.

I need a drink.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Second Life Location: Christmas at the North Pole Village & Santa’s Workshop (M)

This place has been around since forever. It isn’t new and shiny. It isn’t newer items and graphics but it’s still fun to check out for a few moments just for the kid inside of you. Sometimes my cold little heart will point to something like this. Take a few virtual retro moments and giggle. And possibly feel some sort of holiday spirit.

If you still don’t know what Second Life is then I suggest you take a moment to look  HERE.

Posted in Holiday, Tourist Attraction

Ichabod Otter

I’m trying to figure out a few things today as I write this postcard to you. How does one exactly ride a horse without a head? I mean…you kinda need your head for various things. Brain container. Holder of the eyeballs. The place where your nose goes. Your head is a very important thing.

We were taking a scenic drive through a rural area to check out covered bridges and old barns. Mr. C. Cow has a thing for antique barns. While checking out one particular barn we ran into a gentleman on horseback that didn’t seem to have a head. He waved some sort of sword around and held a lit up pumpkin in his other hand. It was all sorts of dramatic. Then he, safely, rode his horse out.

sleepyhollow1

I think that it has to take one of great skill to ride a horse safely out of a barn when you can’t see. Mr. C. Cow would also like to know what kind of contacts the horse had because, as you can see, the eyes were glowing red. I think Mr. C. Cow is considering a CowPire costume for Halloween this year and the glowing red eyes would be a nice touch. Finding cow vampire fangs is a whole different thing.

As we continued on we, once again, found Mr. Headless Horse Rider doing laps around the covered bridge we wanted to cross. I mean…seriously…how can he see where he is going? Is he pulling his shirt up above his head and peeking through the button holes of his shirt?Is it actually just a guy on the sidelines with a remote control and a headless robot? How can you breath?  I think, personally, that it’s kinda rude to do laps around a bridge that people are trying to cross. Not to mention dangerous with the limited vision and water below aspect.

sleepyhollow2

Besides the weird horse rider we had a splendid time checking out various covered bridges and antique barns. We even saw a tree that looked like some sort of glowing face.

sleepyhollow3

I hope that the guy on the horse was practicing some sort of act for a show because, if he was doing it on his own, he was just weird.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Location: Sleepy Hallow Halloween Village & Adams Family Mansion (M) – (There is a haunted area of the place that does have an Adult rating. The areas we were in are not adult rated.) 

 

Posted in RP, Tourist Attraction

Millennium

Mr. C. Cow and I learned a valuable lesson today. Actually it’s probably more then one lesson but we’ll just lump them all together as one giant lesson. A super lesson. A lesson of epic proportions.

Sorry…our postcard was getting a little dramatic with the words. 

If you EVER run into a weird wall or fence that looks old, something out of a horror movie, or is broken then don’t drive your camper into the area they are trying to keep you out of. Maybe they have some sort of quarantine or keep out death and cross bones combo sign on said wall or fence. Don’t drive your camper past it. If you see green fog coming from said area…you get the idea.

templeofdeath

These lovely gentleman you see in the postcard above that we have sent to you have reminded us of such foolishness. They, politely, have informed us that we can only send you a postcard of them as a reminder of why one should not be foolish to wander into an area that may or may not be “off the map” or ———– (Gentlemen in the lovely uniforms have removed this comment for security reasons).

I can say that we saw absolutely nothing, it was a boring ride, and we did not accidentally drive into an area surrounded by walls, a fence, or quarantine signs. Nor did we see big guys in uniforms with guns and a possible ———— (Once again these lovely armed gentlemen have removed this comment for security reasons).

Trust No One.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Location: Lost Temple Of Death (M)

Posted in Food, Tourist Attraction

Imminent Heath Hazard

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

We stopped in the middle of nowhere for dinner last night. If we would have had a different food choice we might have turned around as soon as we saw the parking lot. There were people that looked dead drunk just laying around all willy nilly. Not only were they just blocking the parking lot they were laying all over the cars too. I don’t know why no one bothered to call the law as this was an extremely rude thing for them to do! There also seemed to be a deer by the front door that might have had some sort of rabies or skin fall off disease. Someone needs to call the law and a vet!

As soon as we stepped in it was obvious to us that someone was not following legal food regulations. If they even had a permit to serve food I would be amazed! There was some sort of meat on the floor behind the counter. The sink looked like something wasn’t allowing it to drain. There was no hand washing signs and we highly doubted that anyone had used any sort of sanitizer on anything. Mr C. Cow is never one to pass up a meal but even he didn’t want to try anything that could possibly have some sort of cross contamination going on. If that wasn’t the worst there was actually a guy sleeping on the counter. On the counter! What kind of establishment lets someone sleep on the counter?

To make things worse there was no staff in the restaurant. No cooks. No waitresses. Not even a bus boy attempting to clean up stacks of dirty dishes. We were starting to suspect that those people that were laying around the parking lot were the staff. Mr. C. Cow pulled out his little notepad and made note of the lack of staff as well as the potential food hazards just waiting to happen around the diner. I think someone is going to get a strongly worded letter about the state of this place.

I think we’ll pass on even a glass of water and eat a box of crackers in the camper till we find another place to stop. One can’t be too careful!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Location: Olivia’s Creepy Diner (M)