Posted in Real Life, Weather

Swoodl

Today has been breezy. Not a “this wind is making my hair look great” breezy. More of a “these gusts are whipping my hair into my eyeballs” breezy. I’ve tried to go to the post office a few times to send out postcards but the wild winds keep blowing me back inside.

Sunny But Windy!

Because tree limbs keep blowing off of the trees and flying around the power has been sketchy. This has made postcards via the internet impossible. My poor computer is unplugged and looking very glum over not being used. Sorry computer! Blinking power means you’ll have to go energy hungry for a while.

How, due to the weather, am I sending this postcard to all of you? By using one of those mobile clever telephone things. Mr. C. Cow bought it for me because he was tired of me complaining about using his phone. It’s hard to use a cows mobile phone as they have a special “hoof option” that only applies to those with hoofs. Marslean, being a winged unicorn, can borrow it but my tiny otter paws are a no go.

Speaking of Marslean, she’s been sitting at our kitchen table playing one of those word making games since the computer is off limits. It’s one of those educational diversions where you are given random letters to make words out of. When I asked how it was going she wanted to know why the word “Swoodl” couldn’t be a real word.

Swoodl?

This started a great conversation as to what the definition of “Swoodl” would be:

Mr. C. Cow – “The act of swinging a noodle around.”

Marslean- “Acting crazy and wiggly at the same time.”

Me – “When you swoon when cuddling.”

Good thing we’re not in charge of new word dictionary definitions!

Hopefully the wind will die down so I can go to the post office, the computer can eat a power snack, and things will get back to normal.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Real life photo taken by me attempting to go outside without blowing over.

Sorry for the, not so neat, editing. Using a smart phone to write is a pain!

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Posted in Nature, Park, Real Life

Tree Couture

I caught Mr. C. Cow standing outside of the camper today holding a bunch of tree branches. One in his mouth, a few strapped to his middle, and a couple on his horns held together by twisty ties.

“What in the name of nature are you doing?” I, politely, inquired.

“I’m being one with the trees!” was Mr. C.’s answer.

How is wearing multiple types of tree branches make someone “one with the trees”? Pine accented with oak makes more of a wood pile than a “one with trees” fashion statement. Mixing tree types is like wearing socks with sandals. Then again, I like to wear a beehive as an outfit centerpiece. What the heck do I know?

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These Are Trees.

I wish Marslean was camping with us. She could witness Mr. C. Cow with his tree branch couture. Marslean is also the only one of us that owns an entire tree guide. I only have a half a guide as Mr. C. chewed on mine. She’s also the only one that could probably look at his wood pile of an outfit and, somehow, make it look fabulous.

While Mr. C. Cow was outside in his branch outfit singing about “Trees And Love”, I got on this amazing invention called “The Internet” and looked up a few tree facts. I thought that, since I didn’t have a branch ensemble, I could, at least, learn more than the words “bark” and “leaf”.

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These Are Also Trees….

Did you know that the indentation between the lobes of a leaf are called a “sinus”? 

I’m now staring out the window at Mr. C. Cow’s outfit trying to find ear lobes on a leaf and figure out if they get sinus infections. Nature is hard.

I think it’s time to get Mr. C. back into the camper, minus the tree garb, and back on the road. His little nature stunt has made me realize we might need to brush up on our timber knowledge.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos (taken by me!) while out and about in the wonderful, real world of nature.

Yes….I do know that trees do not have ear lobes OR sinus infections.

Posted in Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

Cocktail Deck

There are a few things in life that Mr. C. Cow knows more about then I do. Collecting antique milk cans. How to make stripes and plaid go together. Boating lingo. While I might be able to “natter like a pirate”, boat parts and whatnot are confusing. When Mr. C. Cow starts talking about the “stern of the boat” I keep thinking that it means the boat is really strict. I was told that stern means “the after part of the boat” I still don’t know what that means. What’s an “after part”? Once he showed me the fluke of an anchor and I thought he was talking about the anchor having some strange stroke of luck. I don’t think Mr. C. Cow was very impressed with my boat knowledge.

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Where’s The Poop Deck?

We have been sailing a few times together. While I’m under the impression that I’ll get to wear a pirate hat while sipping cocktails on whatever part of the boat is the cocktail deck, Mr. C. Cow is more into practicing his square knots on the starboard bow.

Wow! We have a star on board? Neato!

Maybe I should brush up on my terms because  Mr. C. Cow keeps shaking his head every time I giggle at the word “Bulkhead”. Come on! It sounds like someone with a really large (and heavy) head. Who wouldn’t giggle at that? I also should probably tone down my pirate talk on our next trip together. Mr. C. doesn’t appreciate it when I keep yelling “Watch out fer sharks ‘n jellyfish Sailor Cow! Pass me th’ rum! Yarr!”.

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Beautiful Day For Sailing!

We all like to get a bit goofy at times. I actually do know where the starboard is on a ship. (It’s the right side of the ship when looking forward.) Mr. C. Cow knows that I really don’t think a bulkhead is a large-headed individual. Being best friends we sometimes like to pick on each other. Even so, I do insisted that I get to wear a pirate hat and drink cocktails on our next boat trip. Maybe this time I can figure out where the cocktail deck is.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Pictures taken in Second Life by…Me!

Second Life Location: Sister’s Cove (M) 

 

 

Posted in Nature, Park, Tourist Attraction

Walking Direction Finder

I’m short. Not just “I can’t reach the paper towels!” grocery shopping short. My short is more of a “I walked into a tall patch of flowers and can’t see! Help!” short. If left to my own devices I could, possibly, wander around an area of tall grass for hours before I found my way out.

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Help! Send Wine And Cheese!

One example of wild flowers trying to take me out like some sort of evil (yet good-looking) otter eating plant was a hike Mr. C. Cow and I just went on. I, blindly, walked into the flowers and was instantly lost. Mr. C. had to pull me up with his teeth and stick me on his back. It’s slightly embarrassing when I have to ask for a ride but it beats being disoriented forever.

Speaking of being disoriented forever, Mr. C. Cow, when not graced with a map, likes to also get lost. One time he got lost on his way to the bathroom in a restaurant. He swears up and down that the hallways getting there were confusing. I think it wasn’t the hallways that confused him because the restaurant wasn’t that big. One time Mr. C. got lost on his way to the rest stop we own and had to stop to ask a unicorn for directions.

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Uh…it’s right across the street from your house.

Bishop has some sort of eerie sense of direction and never gets lost. He could travel to some mystical nation ruled by pixies and would somehow know exactly how to get to the local gas station. I think he was born with some sort of strange GPS built right in. I wonder if Mr. C. Cow could have one implanted in him. A bionic cow that would no longer find himself adrift in a canoe trying to find a shoe store. (Long story…still don’t know how he ended up in a canoe.)

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Take a left at the glowing light to get to the gas station.

Next time we go shopping I’m buying Mr. C. Cow a colossal book of maps. I could probably use a pair of fabulous platform hiking boots. Bishop…um….Bishop just needs to tell us how he’s a walking direction finder.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken in Second Life by…ME! Huzzah!

SL Location: Lost Unicorn (M) 

Posted in News, Real Life

Pain In My Paw

I hurt my paw hand the other day. I was doing a lot of things with my right paw/hand/whatever and my paw was like “Umm…Tipsy…can you slow it down a wee bit? I’m kinda tired!”. I didn’t pay that much attention to it at the time but now I can’t help but give it a lot of attention. It hurts! Mr. C. Cow has rubbed it. Bishop gave me a bag of frozen peas to put on it. Marslean looked up something called “acu-smacking”. Acu-punching? Puncture? I’m not exactly sure what it’s called but it’s suppose to help.

My paw hurt has made me really sad this week. We can’t drive far in the camper because it hurts to grip the wheel. I can’t expect Mr. C. to do all of the driving. It’s not fair to him. (He also gets tired real easy and tries to drive with his mouth. Safety tip: don’t drive with your mouth!)

To cheer me up Bishop gave me a bunch of photos he found in a safety manual so Mr. C. Cow and I could try to guess what they mean. He knows us so well!

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Moonwalking on a beam is STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

I think that, deep down underneath all that bear fur, Bishop thinks it’s funny when we try to make up our own safety sign meanings. He probably doesn’t think it’s funny when we do it in his shop but doesn’t mind if we do it sitting on the couch.

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1. Beware of mean steaks while walking on rocks.  2. When lightning and a lock love each other very much they end up with a screen baby.  3. Red buttons sometimes need band aids when pushed too hard. 

I’m going to go get another frozen bag of veggies to put on my paw. This bag of peas is starting to melt and it’s making Mr. C. Cow hungry. If I keep it on any longer I’m afraid he’s going to steal it and make soup.

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1. If you try to break up the love between lightning and a lock they will drop a beam on your head.  2. Don’t play with buttons while someones trying to jump over sharp rocks.  3. Be sure to use the proper wrench while taking a splinter out of a finger. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

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Pushing buttons will not make guitar picks and soda tabs fall from the conveyor god in the sky. Ask nicely. 

I want to thank my husband who is the real life Bishop (and character model) for the safety photos. He’s not a polar bear in real life but some might mistake him for one. Especially when he’s wearing a hard hat.

I did hurt my hand from spending an entire day typing postcard related stuff, photo editing, and drawing for my other site “Lizzy Zilla”. I have to learn that one cannot draw three comics, do a postcard post, photo edit, AND all the other stuff I have to do in one day. My advice? If you’re hand yells at you to take a break TAKE A BREAK!

Also want to thank my daughter who is the model with which I base the character of Marslean after. She really did look up acupuncture stuff. Please check out her photography website HERE as a big thank you!

Posted in Real Life

Who The Heck Is Max?

Bishop got his new lawn mower! Huzzah! Much celebration in the lawn cutting arts. Mr. C. Cow was especially excited because he, accidentally (kinda), broke the last lawn mower by thinking you could drive it “Off-Lawn”. He was thinking it was like an off-road vehicle that you drove off the beaten path. What Mr. C. didn’t understand was that you can’t drive it on gravel. Or in a lake. Or over a giant mud puddle at full lawn mowing speed. This is probably the number one reason why Mr. C. Cow has been banned from driving any of our equipment. Bishop isn’t being mean. He’s just trying to save us a bit of money and time fixing things that get broken. (Sorry Mr. C. but we will only let you drive the small things now. Not being mean but you need a bit of equipment driving practice.)

With a great piece of rider lawnmower equipment comes the great responsibility of trying to figure out what the heck the safety stickers are trying to tell us. Mr. C. Cow and  I tried our very best to figure these beauties out:

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When seeing lawn gnome behind you be sure to twist your head at a 180 degree angle.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think that a head is supposed to twist in that direction. Unless you’re an owl. (Major shout out to all the owls in my life! Hoot! Hoot!)

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If you are totally overheated do not depend on a gas can or some weird shack to help you.

Mr. C. Cow and I think that this safety sticker is really trying to tell us that they are not hot as much as they are really angry at the state of things. Don’t try to fix my anger by giving me a funky purse. Don’t try to fix my anger by making me sit in some sort of tiny home and tell me that I can get by with a kitchen the size of a bath mat. Lawn mower is angry. Give it some space.

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Double Safety! If you get D’s on your report card you get your digits chopped off. If you try to put your hand in to join a double G game they will be denied because they are not G enough.

I am so confused by these safety stickers! Where am I suppose avoid the alphabet? Am I suppose to study really hard to not get a D in any subject?  Both of us are now having nightmares that our digits will be eaten by the alphabet. This is not the best way to teach anyone their ABC’s.

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If you not give Max at least 15 percent you’re totally doomed. DOOMED!

Who is this Max fellow and how are we suppose to give him 15 percent? 15 percent of what? If we don’t know who Max is then are we automatically doomed? Neither Mr. C. Cow or myself want to be doomed! Maybe we should ask Bishop who this Max fellow is. Maybe we should stop trying to figure out what these safety signs mean and ask Bishop to explain them to us. Maybe we should just stop touching Bishop’s stuff and leave the equipment to trained professionals.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos of safety signs taken by yours truly. I found them on our personal rider lawnmower and I am happy to say that our lawn is currently mowed!

Don’t forget….we might be making silly jokes about these safety stickers but safety is no joke. Follow all instructions when operating any type of machinery. Don’t be an idiot!

Posted in Real Life

Off-Lawning

Bishop had to go lawn mower shopping the other day. The grass at the equipment company was getting a bit on the long side and our old mower wasn’t going to cut it anymore. (Get it! Lawn mower! Cut Grass!!) Our old mower was working just fine until Mr. C. Cow took it out for a joyride that he likes to call “Off-Lawning”. Lawn mowers were not meant for “Off-Lawning” adventures so this called for a trip to the hardware store.

Lawn mower shopping gives Mr. C. and I the perfect opportunity to try and figure out what all of the safety signs means on the equipment. Not sure if Bishop finds us humorous because he kept kicking tires on the mowers, sighing, and drinking his coffee while we were laughing at the stupidity of our safety sign interpretations. At one point Bishop did walk away. I thought it was because we were being overly stupid. Mr. C. Cow said he thought it was because he wanted to laugh at our jokes privately in a different aisle.

Bishop ended up coming back with the keys of one particular model he was interested in. It was called a “Huskdeerpowermow-something or other”. The safety sign on the keys was what started Mr. C. Cow and I off on another round of “Caption that safety sign!”.

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Eeeek! “Do not use slug baby as a tire jack!”

While we giggled (and were slightly horrified) by the sign on the set of mower keys Bishop did a “mumble grumble” sound then moved off to talk to a salesman. This gave us the perfect opportunity to check out more of the mowers fun safety sign features.

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“This Mower Can Be Used For Sweet Skateboarding Moves.”

We wondered why the guy doing his sweet moves was not wearing a helmet. He is, after all, a safety sign guy.

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“Calmly drive your mower into a burning brush fire.”

Maybe this one could also mean “In case of brush fire throw leaves on it while running it over.”

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“Attempting to sword fight while using this mower will lead to finger gouges.”

Can you picture someone trying to sword fight while mowing their lawn? I don’t think that’s the safest thing one could do while mowing. Maybe they should listen to the sign and save the sword fights for after the yard work is done.

Bishop decided to buy this lawnmower because it was perfect for the equipment companies lawn. Mr. C. Cow and I were happy he got it because we didn’t get to interpret all of its safety stickers.

Maybe later on this week, while Bishop is actually getting ready to mow, we can continue interpreting for you. Only if he let’s us get close enough to it. I know he’s keeping an eye on Mr. C. Cow.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

All safety sticker pictures were taken by me and are actually off of our riding lawnmower. We now, currently, have a nicely mowed lawn. 

In all seriousness, don’t be an idiot. Follow all safety rules and signs when operating something like a lawn mower. Don’t get hurt by being stupid!