Posted in Real Life

Comical Large Feather Duster

Mr. C. Cow decided, since it was Monday, that Bishop needed a bit of help around the shop. This is surprising as Mr. C. usually likes to begin the day with a banana smoothie, a long bath, and a nap. Not only was I surprised but so was Bishop as he was planning a normal workday. When it comes to working in the shop with Mr. C. Cow the words “normal workday” are never uttered.

The first order of business was to dust the shop. Mr. C. was not asked to dust but he felt it needed it. I’ve never seen anyone attempt to dust equipment with a comically large feather duster. After an hour of vigorous cleaning, we were no better off in the dust department then when we started. Mr. C. gave up on his attempt and wandered around for an hour looking for another area he would be useful at.

Dusting this was not successful.

After a quick sandwich and a few laps around the shop, Mr. C. Cow came back ready to test all of the emergency buttons. Bishop did something I’ve never seen a polar bear in a hard hat do in all of history. There was a slow-mo “noooooooooo” as he body blocked the emergency stop button. I wish I would have had a camera as I feel we could have made an industrial safety video just from that footage. Emergency button testing was a no go.

Do not touch unless it is a REAL emergency!

For the next two hours, Mr. C. Cow sat next to my desk “moo sighing” while I was trying to do paperwork. Bishop, knowing that Mr. C. Cow just wanted to help, gave him the perfect job of sorting hardware into their proper bins.

Separate those things Mr. C. Cow!

Happy to be of use (and tired of “moo-sighing”), Mr. C. got right to work. If you’ve ever needed anyone to organize hardware in your life then you need to hire him. He was made for separating things. (Once saw him separate lettuce from a BLT without removing the bread…different story…different day….).

Important Lesson Of The Day:

Not everyone was made to do everything. I’m too short to dunk a basketball. Bishop was not made to fit into tiny spaces. Mr. C. Cow was not cut out to be left alone around heavy machinery. The good thing is that we were all made to do something great. I’m good at retrieving things from underneath a camper seat. Bishop is great at drinking coffee while working on machinery. Mr. C. Cow is wonderful at organizing. We all have something we are spectacular at. Sometimes it just takes us a while to find out what it is.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos taken by yours truly!

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Posted in News, Real Life

Stop In The Name Of Glove

Mr. C. Cow and I have been staring at this safety sticker on a piece of Bishops new equipment for at least an hour now.

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Stop Shouting?

This one had us stumped more than any other safety sign before it. Was it informing us to stop wearing gloves? Were we suppose forgo wearing sci-fi inspired glasses while wearing gloves? Was finger painting prohibited in the area? Mr. C. Cow was insistent that the sign was trying to tell us to wash our hands before touching. I thought it didn’t want us to touch anything.

After having a meaningful discussion on how important gloves are when handling sharp things or hiking in the dead of winter, we were so confused that we turned to Bishop for help. Turning to Bishop took a bit of hard work as we couldn’t figure out where he was. We checked the break room and he (along with his coffee cup) were not there. The office? No Bishop. Mowing the lawn? Still no Bishop. Not only were we befuddled over a safety sign we had, somehow, lost Bishop. How does one loose an 8ft tall polar bear wearing a hard hat? We do, of course.

We finally found him an hour later under a forklift changing the oil. While I was busy checking the offices, Mr. C. Cow was supposed to check the machinery yard. I don’t know how Mr. C. could have missed seeing a giant pair of bear paws sticking out from under a forklift. Maybe he didn’t bother to look down.

Bishop informed us that the safety sign said “Halt! Don’t screw with this thing for real like”. I’m glad Mr. C. Cow didn’t try licking it. Who knows what would have happened to his tongue. I doubt they make band-aids for cow tongues.

This just, once again, goes to show that safety is important. Following safety signs correctly is extremely important. Not licking machinery is of the utmost importance. I don’t think I’ll touch anything in the shop ever again before consulting Bishop.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photo taken by the real life model for Bishop because he knows I dig those crazy safety stickers he’s always running into.

I apologize for no new postcard this past Tuesday. It’s been a really hectic week and I’m exhausted. I’m hoping to get ahead in the postcard writing this weekend so I won’t have to worry about a no-show again. Thanks for understanding!

Posted in Real Life

Broom-Lift

Bishop had Mr. C. Cow help him out in the shop today. While Bishop did paperwork on some construction materials he had ordered he asked Mr. C. if he could help out by sweeping up the shop. Shops, no matter how neat you try to be, always end up all sorts of dusty. Mr. C. Cow was more than happy to help out. Sweeping, for some strange reason, is one of his favorite chore related pastimes. I think it’s because he gets a kick out of the giant shop broom.

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Bishop doing paperwork.

The sweeping was going splendidly for, around, ten minutes before Mr. C. Cow got distracted by a piece of construction equipment. Now….as you all know…Bishop has, currently, banned Mr. C. from driving any of the equipment. Until Mr. C. Cow can learn proper safety and how to use equipment the way it’s suppose to be used he is forbidden to drive on anything. No forklifts. No lawnmowers. No steam rolling, ground punching, or trench digging machinery allowed. Bishops not being mean. He’s just worried that Mr. C. Cow will not only hurt himself but also do damage to property and equipment. He even signed the lil’ cow up for safety courses so that, in the future, he can hop on anything he wants.

Do you think Mr. C. Cow behaved himself and finished sweeping the shop?

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Oh No Mr. C. Cow!!!!!

No. He didn’t listen! Mr. C. felt that he could get the sweeping done faster if he was to attach multiple brooms to a forklift.  Lucky for him that I was the one that happened to walk into the shop while he was driving around looking for more brooms.

“Mr. C!!!!!” I exclaimed as I rushed (carefully as to not get run over) into the shop. “You’ve been forbidden to drive any of the equipment until you’ve had your classes!!!!”.

Mr. C. Cow tried to explain that he wanted to do an excellent job of shop cleaning to impress Bishop. I told him he didn’t need to use a forklift to do a sweeping job. Bishop will love the job done with a regular broom. No need to get all crazy.  At least Mr. C. Cow remembered to wear a safety hat.

After Mr. C. understood that a regular broom would be just fine I pointed out the safety stickers that were on the forklift. Until you know exactly what they mean you shouldn’t be driving a forklift.

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The third picture looks like he’s attempting to pry the machine apart like some sort of jail cell bar bending jailbreak. 

After we spent a few minutes discussing the importance of respecting equipment Mr. C. Cow went back to sweeping up the rest of the shop. Just in time because Bishop was just walking back from his now finished paperwork. I’m REALLY glad that Mr. C. starts his safety classes this week. He really wants to make everyone proud.

You already make us proud Mr. C. Cow!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos and artwork all done by yours truly. 

Posted in Real Life

Chainsaw Arm Prohibited

In all of our travels we sometimes run into some really funny looking safety signs. Sometimes Mr. C. Cow and I like to guess what we think the signs are actually trying to tell us.

The other day, while visiting a place of industry, we took a bunch of pictures of the safety signs and thought we would try our hand at guessing them (completely wrong I might add).

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No Broadway Musical Numbers Allowed!

Clearly someone has been watching too many musicals and was inspired to sing and dance while operating machinery. Something this sign, clearly, states it doesn’t like. Party pooper!

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Do Not Limbo Under Forks!

Do Not Use Forklift For Step Exercises!

Staying healthy is important. Doing it on a forklift is not recommended. Limbo action should be done using the proper limbo equipment. If you want to do stair stepping exercises then use stairs.

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Your Arm Is Not A Chainsaw!

I know we’ve all seen someone’s groovy chainsaw arm in a movie before BUT this sign clearly states that we are not going to see it here. Just don’t do it!

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This one is super easy!

Danger! No Smoking While Dressed As Ziggy Stardust!

He played guitar he DID NOT smoke while in a work zone.

Someone should hire Mr. C. Cow and I to make safety signs. We could keep you safe from things like overcooked grilled cheese sandwiches and falling meatballs.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Location: Somewhere In Virginia

In all seriousness….listen to safety signs and be safe people. Don’t be stupid!