Today we stopped off at a grocery store to stock up on camper supplies. Mr. C. Cow was running low on soup and I was in need of dish soap. It’s weird trying to walk into a grocery store together. No one seems to notice an otter in a beehive but they sure do notice a cow. To combat the stares we usually put Mr. C. Cow in a large floppy hat. I guess that a cow in a hat isn’t as weird as just a plain old cow. We do have issues with pushing the cart because I can’t reach it with my stubby limbs. My lil cow doesn’t mind doing the pushing and even helps me reach things high up on a shelf.
I have to say that I’m grateful for self check out lines because having to stand on a cow to pay is kinda embarrassing in front of a cashier. I’m really glad we only have to shop every so often. If I had to do this every week it would drive me bonkers.
Location: A&A Fresh Market (M)
Today I let Mr. C. Cow do most of the driving. I was feeling a tad bit under the weather and needed to take a nap. When I awoke I noticed that we had turned off the major highway and were driving the camper on a beach. I’m amazed he didn’t get us stuck in the sand!! Or drive into the water! I don’t really want to find out if we would float or not. Maybe I should let him drive more often when I’m awake. Just in case he thinks a camper can fly.
I’m not saying he’s not a good driver. He just…get’s a little distracted at times. Sometimes he’s too busy playing air guitar to pay attention to road signs. One time he was trying to eat noodles and drive with his back hoofs. Funny to watch but not so funny when you can’t really see the road driving this way.
Can you image if I had to teach him how to drive a stick?
Location: Da Vinci Gardens (G)
The other day Mr. C. Cow and I drove through a town that had a chicken statue.
I thought that, maybe, the chicken had been some sort of historical figure. The world was a different time when the Chicken was alive. Back in 1743 Captain Chicken found himself surrounded by the great turkey hordes from the North. His rations as well the moral of his soldiers was low. Only armed with a corn kernel and his own drumsticks, Captain Chicken was able to defeat the invading poultry army. The villagers rejoiced in his victory and decided to erect a statue in his honor.
Mr. C. Cow thought he might be the founding chicken father of the village. A long time ago chickens would travel via wagon train to find a new home. Making his way through the dangerous swamps of North DaLafornia, Mr. Chicken came across a clearing. Here, he felt, was the perfect place to settle down. Maybe raise a few eggs. Build a few coops. Here, in this beautiful clearing, a village was born. In honor of founding the village they erected a statue in his honor.
How did this chicken statue get here? Who built it? Was he an important chicken? Our imaginations ran wild as we got back into the camper and sped off. After about an hour we realized something…..WE FORGOT TO READ THE STATUES PLAQUE!
Location: New Toulouse (M)
Someone needs to invent a silly straw long enough for a cow to drink a fruity cocktail while sitting in a hot tub. I would let him hold it while in the tub but hoofs and glasses don’t mix. Putting it on the edge of a hot tub and letting him drink from a regular straw would just lead to spilling. A extra long cow silly straw that reaches from the bar to the hot tub would be perfect.
Like an oasis in the middle of the desert we suddenly found ourselves surrounded by waterfalls, palm trees, and a fully stocked bar. While I gravitated towards the promise of giant pieces of fruit garnishing a glass full of alcohol, Mr. C. Cow hopped right into the hot tub. Traveling in a camper does a number on a cow back and hot water seems to help. Maybe we should stay for a while and learn to hula dance. Or make coconut bras. The sound of the ocean waves mixed with rum seemed to make all of our stress disappear. Maybe I’ll take a nice nap in a hammock….
When I woke up I found myself back in the camper. The palm trees and silly straws had disappeared. Was it really just an oasis? Did we just dream about paradise? Did Mr. C. Cow just carry me back to the camper while I was asleep?
Location: Jak’s Place
We decided to treat ourselves today by stopping at a fancy hotel. Something that involved cocktails in real glassware and the opportunity to not have to cook for ourselves. Living in the camper is fun but sometimes you want to be able to sleep in a real bed.
We found a lovely hotel on the top of a hill that didn’t seem to be too busy. I let Mr. C. Cow practice his camper backing up skills since there were no other cars in the parking lot. It’s kinda hard to explain to a police officer why a cow backed into a parked car even though he has a drivers license.
Check in was uneventful except I do feel that our host was a tad bit on the quiet side. Might be from the red barn he was painting judging from the red paint covering his body. The cocktail bar was very nice and they seemed to have some sort of parfait that looked like real eyeballs. My hats off to the chef for making something look so realistic! I just stuck to a martini. I am assuming that Tuesdays are bears drink half off because the entire place was full of bears. I wonder if they have half off otter happy hour.
The room was comfortable enough but we kept hearing weird noises coming from the rooms around us. Other then that and the some weird tentacle’d guest hanging out in the hallways it was nice to sleep in a real bed for a change.
Sometimes an otter just needs to get out from behind the wheel and sleep in sheets not laundered by a cow.
Location: Fallmouth Hotel (G)
I enjoy art. Mr. C. Cow enjoys art and thinks it’s a part of a complete breakfast. I, personally, think that art should only be eaten at cocktail parties. We might not agree on the proper meal with which to dine on fine art but we both agree that art is awesome.
Today we made a stop at an art gallery to feel a little more refined and artsy. My little cow thought I said another word besides “artsy” so I had to inform him that rude noises and smells were not proper in an art gallery. He was a tad bit embarrassed but quickly got over it when we found cake.
I’ve never been to an art museum that features it’s own “Cakery”. It makes sense because thinking about lines, colors, and artistic expression kinda makes you hungry. I was able to stop Mr. C. Cow from eating all of the cake at the Cakery. He kept mooing “But it’s free cake!!! Eat…It…All….”. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to a cow that we need to leave food for other people.
Both our stomachs and our minds full we felt satisfied in many ways as we pulled out and onto the road.
Location: Galleria Kakku (M)
Driving a camper takes a lot of gas. It’s kinda hard to judge exactly when I’m almost out as the gas gage never seems to move. It’s almost like it’s just painted on.
Getting gas was slightly confusing today as I wasn’t exactly sure what “LOL”, “OMG”, and “WTF” were in terms of money. To be on the safe side I decided to go with plus gas for “OMG”. Weirdly enough I swiped my credit card and pumped the gas but the money amount never moved off of zero. It was almost like the amount was just painted on the gas pump.
Now that we are filled up (I think) it’s time to find a cool roadside attraction to hit up.
Location: Poulco Gas Station (G)