Posted in News, Real Life

Stop In The Name Of Glove

Mr. C. Cow and I have been staring at this safety sticker on a piece of Bishops new equipment for at least an hour now.

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Stop Shouting?

This one had us stumped more than any other safety sign before it. Was it informing us to stop wearing gloves? Were we suppose forgo wearing sci-fi inspired glasses while wearing gloves? Was finger painting prohibited in the area? Mr. C. Cow was insistent that the sign was trying to tell us to wash our hands before touching. I thought it didn’t want us to touch anything.

After having a meaningful discussion on how important gloves are when handling sharp things or hiking in the dead of winter, we were so confused that we turned to Bishop for help. Turning to Bishop took a bit of hard work as we couldn’t figure out where he was. We checked the break room and he (along with his coffee cup) were not there. The office? No Bishop. Mowing the lawn? Still no Bishop. Not only were we befuddled over a safety sign we had, somehow, lost Bishop. How does one loose an 8ft tall polar bear wearing a hard hat? We do, of course.

We finally found him an hour later under a forklift changing the oil. While I was busy checking the offices, Mr. C. Cow was supposed to check the machinery yard. I don’t know how Mr. C. could have missed seeing a giant pair of bear paws sticking out from under a forklift. Maybe he didn’t bother to look down.

Bishop informed us that the safety sign said “Halt! Don’t screw with this thing for real like”. I’m glad Mr. C. Cow didn’t try licking it. Who knows what would have happened to his tongue. I doubt they make band-aids for cow tongues.

This just, once again, goes to show that safety is important. Following safety signs correctly is extremely important. Not licking machinery is of the utmost importance. I don’t think I’ll touch anything in the shop ever again before consulting Bishop.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photo taken by the real life model for Bishop because he knows I dig those crazy safety stickers he’s always running into.

I apologize for no new postcard this past Tuesday. It’s been a really hectic week and I’m exhausted. I’m hoping to get ahead in the postcard writing this weekend so I won’t have to worry about a no-show again. Thanks for understanding!

Posted in News, Real Life

Pain In My Paw

I hurt my paw hand the other day. I was doing a lot of things with my right paw/hand/whatever and my paw was like “Umm…Tipsy…can you slow it down a wee bit? I’m kinda tired!”. I didn’t pay that much attention to it at the time but now I can’t help but give it a lot of attention. It hurts! Mr. C. Cow has rubbed it. Bishop gave me a bag of frozen peas to put on it. Marslean looked up something called “acu-smacking”. Acu-punching? Puncture? I’m not exactly sure what it’s called but it’s suppose to help.

My paw hurt has made me really sad this week. We can’t drive far in the camper because it hurts to grip the wheel. I can’t expect Mr. C. to do all of the driving. It’s not fair to him. (He also gets tired real easy and tries to drive with his mouth. Safety tip: don’t drive with your mouth!)

To cheer me up Bishop gave me a bunch of photos he found in a safety manual so Mr. C. Cow and I could try to guess what they mean. He knows us so well!

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Moonwalking on a beam is STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

I think that, deep down underneath all that bear fur, Bishop thinks it’s funny when we try to make up our own safety sign meanings. He probably doesn’t think it’s funny when we do it in his shop but doesn’t mind if we do it sitting on the couch.

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1. Beware of mean steaks while walking on rocks.  2. When lightning and a lock love each other very much they end up with a screen baby.  3. Red buttons sometimes need band aids when pushed too hard. 

I’m going to go get another frozen bag of veggies to put on my paw. This bag of peas is starting to melt and it’s making Mr. C. Cow hungry. If I keep it on any longer I’m afraid he’s going to steal it and make soup.

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1. If you try to break up the love between lightning and a lock they will drop a beam on your head.  2. Don’t play with buttons while someones trying to jump over sharp rocks.  3. Be sure to use the proper wrench while taking a splinter out of a finger. 

“Tipsy” Cerulean

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Pushing buttons will not make guitar picks and soda tabs fall from the conveyor god in the sky. Ask nicely. 

I want to thank my husband who is the real life Bishop (and character model) for the safety photos. He’s not a polar bear in real life but some might mistake him for one. Especially when he’s wearing a hard hat.

I did hurt my hand from spending an entire day typing postcard related stuff, photo editing, and drawing for my other site “Lizzy Zilla”. I have to learn that one cannot draw three comics, do a postcard post, photo edit, AND all the other stuff I have to do in one day. My advice? If you’re hand yells at you to take a break TAKE A BREAK!

Also want to thank my daughter who is the model with which I base the character of Marslean after. She really did look up acupuncture stuff. Please check out her photography website HERE as a big thank you!

Posted in Real Life

Broom-Lift

Bishop had Mr. C. Cow help him out in the shop today. While Bishop did paperwork on some construction materials he had ordered he asked Mr. C. if he could help out by sweeping up the shop. Shops, no matter how neat you try to be, always end up all sorts of dusty. Mr. C. Cow was more than happy to help out. Sweeping, for some strange reason, is one of his favorite chore related pastimes. I think it’s because he gets a kick out of the giant shop broom.

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Bishop doing paperwork.

The sweeping was going splendidly for, around, ten minutes before Mr. C. Cow got distracted by a piece of construction equipment. Now….as you all know…Bishop has, currently, banned Mr. C. from driving any of the equipment. Until Mr. C. Cow can learn proper safety and how to use equipment the way it’s suppose to be used he is forbidden to drive on anything. No forklifts. No lawnmowers. No steam rolling, ground punching, or trench digging machinery allowed. Bishops not being mean. He’s just worried that Mr. C. Cow will not only hurt himself but also do damage to property and equipment. He even signed the lil’ cow up for safety courses so that, in the future, he can hop on anything he wants.

Do you think Mr. C. Cow behaved himself and finished sweeping the shop?

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Oh No Mr. C. Cow!!!!!

No. He didn’t listen! Mr. C. felt that he could get the sweeping done faster if he was to attach multiple brooms to a forklift.  Lucky for him that I was the one that happened to walk into the shop while he was driving around looking for more brooms.

“Mr. C!!!!!” I exclaimed as I rushed (carefully as to not get run over) into the shop. “You’ve been forbidden to drive any of the equipment until you’ve had your classes!!!!”.

Mr. C. Cow tried to explain that he wanted to do an excellent job of shop cleaning to impress Bishop. I told him he didn’t need to use a forklift to do a sweeping job. Bishop will love the job done with a regular broom. No need to get all crazy.  At least Mr. C. Cow remembered to wear a safety hat.

After Mr. C. understood that a regular broom would be just fine I pointed out the safety stickers that were on the forklift. Until you know exactly what they mean you shouldn’t be driving a forklift.

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The third picture looks like he’s attempting to pry the machine apart like some sort of jail cell bar bending jailbreak. 

After we spent a few minutes discussing the importance of respecting equipment Mr. C. Cow went back to sweeping up the rest of the shop. Just in time because Bishop was just walking back from his now finished paperwork. I’m REALLY glad that Mr. C. starts his safety classes this week. He really wants to make everyone proud.

You already make us proud Mr. C. Cow!

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos and artwork all done by yours truly. 

Posted in Real Life

Who The Heck Is Max?

Bishop got his new lawn mower! Huzzah! Much celebration in the lawn cutting arts. Mr. C. Cow was especially excited because he, accidentally (kinda), broke the last lawn mower by thinking you could drive it “Off-Lawn”. He was thinking it was like an off-road vehicle that you drove off the beaten path. What Mr. C. didn’t understand was that you can’t drive it on gravel. Or in a lake. Or over a giant mud puddle at full lawn mowing speed. This is probably the number one reason why Mr. C. Cow has been banned from driving any of our equipment. Bishop isn’t being mean. He’s just trying to save us a bit of money and time fixing things that get broken. (Sorry Mr. C. but we will only let you drive the small things now. Not being mean but you need a bit of equipment driving practice.)

With a great piece of rider lawnmower equipment comes the great responsibility of trying to figure out what the heck the safety stickers are trying to tell us. Mr. C. Cow and  I tried our very best to figure these beauties out:

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When seeing lawn gnome behind you be sure to twist your head at a 180 degree angle.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think that a head is supposed to twist in that direction. Unless you’re an owl. (Major shout out to all the owls in my life! Hoot! Hoot!)

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If you are totally overheated do not depend on a gas can or some weird shack to help you.

Mr. C. Cow and I think that this safety sticker is really trying to tell us that they are not hot as much as they are really angry at the state of things. Don’t try to fix my anger by giving me a funky purse. Don’t try to fix my anger by making me sit in some sort of tiny home and tell me that I can get by with a kitchen the size of a bath mat. Lawn mower is angry. Give it some space.

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Double Safety! If you get D’s on your report card you get your digits chopped off. If you try to put your hand in to join a double G game they will be denied because they are not G enough.

I am so confused by these safety stickers! Where am I suppose avoid the alphabet? Am I suppose to study really hard to not get a D in any subject?  Both of us are now having nightmares that our digits will be eaten by the alphabet. This is not the best way to teach anyone their ABC’s.

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If you not give Max at least 15 percent you’re totally doomed. DOOMED!

Who is this Max fellow and how are we suppose to give him 15 percent? 15 percent of what? If we don’t know who Max is then are we automatically doomed? Neither Mr. C. Cow or myself want to be doomed! Maybe we should ask Bishop who this Max fellow is. Maybe we should stop trying to figure out what these safety signs mean and ask Bishop to explain them to us. Maybe we should just stop touching Bishop’s stuff and leave the equipment to trained professionals.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Photos of safety signs taken by yours truly. I found them on our personal rider lawnmower and I am happy to say that our lawn is currently mowed!

Don’t forget….we might be making silly jokes about these safety stickers but safety is no joke. Follow all instructions when operating any type of machinery. Don’t be an idiot!

Posted in Real Life

Chainsaw Arm Prohibited

In all of our travels we sometimes run into some really funny looking safety signs. Sometimes Mr. C. Cow and I like to guess what we think the signs are actually trying to tell us.

The other day, while visiting a place of industry, we took a bunch of pictures of the safety signs and thought we would try our hand at guessing them (completely wrong I might add).

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No Broadway Musical Numbers Allowed!

Clearly someone has been watching too many musicals and was inspired to sing and dance while operating machinery. Something this sign, clearly, states it doesn’t like. Party pooper!

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Do Not Limbo Under Forks!

Do Not Use Forklift For Step Exercises!

Staying healthy is important. Doing it on a forklift is not recommended. Limbo action should be done using the proper limbo equipment. If you want to do stair stepping exercises then use stairs.

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Your Arm Is Not A Chainsaw!

I know we’ve all seen someone’s groovy chainsaw arm in a movie before BUT this sign clearly states that we are not going to see it here. Just don’t do it!

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This one is super easy!

Danger! No Smoking While Dressed As Ziggy Stardust!

He played guitar he DID NOT smoke while in a work zone.

Someone should hire Mr. C. Cow and I to make safety signs. We could keep you safe from things like overcooked grilled cheese sandwiches and falling meatballs.

“Tipsy” Cerulean

Location: Somewhere In Virginia

In all seriousness….listen to safety signs and be safe people. Don’t be stupid!